Atlas Hands
by emilialeslies
Summary: AU. Jane and Maura want to escape their old lives in Boston where they're not accepted for being who they are by their families. After a chance meeting, they realise that they don't want to be alone in this, but things are never that easy. Disclaimer: I definitely don't own R&I but we all know what would happen if I did...
1. Runaways

**A/N: So... I haven't seen this idea floating around much but it really interested me so here goes. Jane and Maura, runaways. There's angst, there's love and lots of comforting. It's a slow burner, and it's gonna be a long one... hope you enjoy!**

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Jane Rizzoli knew she didn't want to be in this place. As soon as she knew herself, she knew that her life as she knew it was over. Her comfortable family home wouldn't be the same again, not for her and not for her parents when they found out. She wouldn't be welcome. Jane always hated her parents and their conservative attitude but she respected it and kept her opinions to herself out of pure love and loyalty to her family. But when it affected her, she knew that she would no longer be able to stand for it. If her parents didn't accept her, she was in no way going to accept them. If they thought God would punish their eldest child, their only daughter, just for loving who she did and just for being who she was, then that was a God she could not believe in as well.

When she was younger, she had questioned her father's words when they noticed people that were different from them. He cuffed the back of her head and told her not to question his judgement. So she kept quiet, but in her head she wondered why she wasn't standing up for people when they were being mistreated by people who shared her faith. They were all human beings, surely? They had different personalities, but they were all made from the same God. Not that that was a God she truly believed in anymore.

As Jane sat on the bed, she considered her options. It had been almost a month since she had stupidly, blindly, told her parents that she was gay. She would never forget the look on her father's face, or the look on her mother's. They were angry, shocked and worried. At first Angela and tried to pity her, saying they would get her some help. Frank remained silent but the anger was there. Jane didn't want to hear it. She was 21, she was old enough to know who she was and if they couldn't accept that then… well she didn't really know. She had ran from them, ignoring her father's shouts and locked herself in her room as the yelling continued.

_Frank, we just need to get her some help!_

_She is way beyond that, Ange. She's stubborn and won't admit that there's anything wrong with her._

_Well… maybe she'll grow out of it. _

_It's a sin, Angela! She knows what she's doing, and she is no daughter of mine and she is not welcome under my roof if she is choosing to… to go against her own faith._

_Frank, please, she's still our daughter! She'll get over this, she doesn't know what she's saying._

Jane had cried like she had never cried before. She knew that her family wouldn't understand but she didn't think her own father whom she loved so much would say she wasn't his daughter. She was confused and she was scared. If she couldn't be loved for who she was she didn't know what to do. She couldn't stand how her mother could just stand there and listen to Frank shouting about how their daughter wasn't even theirs anymore. She wanted Angela to fight for her, but she knew that when she didn't take a stance, that it was all over and her mother, deep down, agreed with her father.

Even a month later the words cut through her like a knife. She sits on the edge of her bed, an empty duffle bag by her side and her drawers open. She stares around her bedroom, her childhood, her place of solitude. She couldn't leave it all behind, could she? _But you have to_. The voice in her head had been telling her this for weeks now. She didn't want to think about what would happen to this room after she left, so it was better to not think about it at all. She pushed all thoughts of running away to the side, but things just got worse. Tommy followed his father's lead, Frankie wanted no part of it and soon even the Father at their church gave a sermon about what a sin she was committing. She hadn't been mentioned, but the way the man's eyes pierced through her as he spoke made her feel sick. She wasn't wanted here, she had nothing to remain here for. She had no job, few friends and her family hated her. She just wanted to disappear however she could.

And that was what she intended to do. Taking a deep breath, Jane stands up from her bed and walks over to her drawers. She picks out some jeans, fingering the rip on the knee before picking up some shirts and throwing them in the bag. She doesn't even know where she's going but she can't stay here a moment longer. S_he is not welcome under my roof. _Her father's words resonate in her ears as she packs, throwing all she can into her bag along with her phone charger and the money that she took from her savings account. There isn't much, but it's enough. She doesn't want anything to do with this city, there are too many familiar faces. Familiar faces with fond memories. It wouldn't be her parents that she would miss, it would be the strangers on the street, the stories that she would never know the truth about. When she was younger, still in High School, her and Frankie used to sit in the park and watch people go by, making up their life story. She had laughed until her ribs ached, but now that memory left a bitter taste in her mouth. She would give anything to be young and innocent like she was back then. Anything to go back to how her life was before.

Jane sniffs back the tears, shaking her head. It was no use remembering. She needs a fresh start; and if that means no family, so be it. She would not sit by idly as she was loathed every second of the day. Wiping furiously at the tears that threatened to fall, she held a photo frame in her hand. Every inch of her body was screaming to put it down but her heart failed her and she took the one truly happy photo of her family she had, tucking it into the inside pocket of her leather jacket. She sniffs again, willing herself not to cry because it would make everything just that little bit harder.

Jane jumps as she hears a knock on her bedroom door. Not bothering to hide her bag, she mutters "Come in" in her deep, husky voice. Her heart aches when she sees that it's her mother. Even though she knew that her mother didn't condone her sexuality, she was the only one that bothered to try and keep talking to Jane.

"Where are you going, Janie?" Angela asks, noticing the bag, her voice quiet. Jane looks down at the floor, unable to meet her mother's eyes.

"I'm going away for a while," Jane mumbles, mustering every bit of strength she has not to break down in tears. She holds up her hand when her mother opens her mouth. "Don't, Ma, please."

"Janie, please, just stay. We can get you some he-"

"No, Ma!" Jane's voice rises. "Don't say it. You can't help."

"You don't know that, Jane," her mother's voice is desperate, pleading, but soft too. Like she can't see what is so wrong with what she is saying.

"I do know. I know that this is who I am. I know that you or Pop can't accept me. And that hurts, it hurts so damn much, Ma because how can I stay here, how can I live under this roof when you don't even want me to?" Jane's voice trembles but she manages to keep her tears at bay. She turns away to avoid the hurt in her mother's eyes and continues packing, making sure that she gets everything she needs because she knows she's never coming back once she's out that door.

"Of course we want you here, Jane!" her mother sounds like she's about to cry and Jane can't help but let a tear slip out. "You're being selfish!"

Jane stands there, shaking. "I... selfish? You really think this is my choice?" her voice rises. "I have no choice in who I am, this is just how I was born! Don't you go telling me I'm selfish when you can't even accept your own daughter!" her voice broke on the last word. Her mother remained silent, as usual. "You don't want me here, Ma. You're choosing him over me."

"Janie, he's your father! He loves you!"

Jane almost lets out a whimper. "I heard him, Ma. S_he is not welcome under my roof,_" Jane says, steadying her voice. "And… And I don't want to be welcome here, a place where I'm not accepted for who I am. I'm reminded every day that I'm an abomination, I'm full of sin and it's not fair!" Jane yells the last part. She's tired of hiding what she really thinks from her mother. "I never asked for this! But I'm here and this is who I am and if you can't accept that, Ma, then… then I'm sorry but I can't stay here. It's not fair. This is my life. And I'm going to live it how I want to, otherwise I'm gonna stay here and end up hating every inch of who I am."

"Janie…" her mother's voice wavers. And that settles it. There's no declaration that she's wrong, that Frank is wrong, no excusing Jane for who she is. Just a desperate plea.

"I'm scared, Ma. I'm so damn terrified. But I don't give in to fear. I just… I just can't do this anymore, Ma and I'm sorry but you have to let me go," Jane shoulders her bag and picks up her phone. The bag is almost as tall as her but she manages through sheer will. Her mother doesn't say a word. "I don't have a choice, Ma." Jane's feet move of their own accord, walking quickly past her mother before she can stop her.

"Baby, of course you do!"

Jane doesn't turn around fully. "No I don't! You stopped giving me that choice when you refused to accept me as your daughter anymore!" _She won't accept it until I walk out of that door. Go, Rizzoli, just go._ She runs down the stairs because the sooner she gets out, the better, for all of them. She ignores Frankie's calls of her name as she walks away, the confused look on Tommy's face as she stalks past him in the living room. She doesn't even make eye contact with her father whose eyes are filled with such resentment for his daughter that it just makes her want to run out that door even faster.

"Frank, stop her! Janie, please, please baby come back!"

Jane's hand is on the door handle, shaking. She turns and hates herself for it because Angela is crying. It's almost as bad as Frankie's horror stricken face and Tommy's concealed smirk. Her father looks at her and she forces herself to make eye contact. Jane gestures to the scene in front of them.

"I hope you're happy, Pop. And I hope that when I meet Him up there, he's the God I believe in and not the one that you do. And I hope he forgives me because I'm sure gonna ask Him to forgive you every single day I'm gone from this place…" she takes a shuddering breathe because for one second she's sure that Frank is going to kick her out himself. She points to her mother. "You caused this. This is your doing, Pop. I hope you're happy." And she opens the door, but not before turning back again, trying to drown out her mother's sobs.

"Look after her Frankie," she mutters, and Frankie nods, his face not showing any emotion, but she knows that he understands. He's the only one who has stuck by her through all this and she wishes she could take him with her. But no, this is her choice. "Goodbye, Ma."

Jane steps out of the door, closing it behind her. Closing the door on her mother's yells. Closing the door on her past, on her parent's unwillingness to accept her. She's still the same strong, independent and fiercely loyal Jane that she always was. Now she's free. Terrified. But free.

She takes one deep, shuddering breath, wiping at her nose before hitching her bag back onto her shoulder and heading up the sidewalk to wherever her feet carry her.

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**A/N 2: I'm sorry about making the Rizzoli's seem so horrible but its necessary for the story to evolve... maybe we'll see them again, who knows? And we all know that they're good folk at heart (maybe aside from Frank...). D****on't worry, Maura will be here soon, as well as some other characters we know and love (but they may come later...). **I'll try and get the next one up soon, but I'm studying for exams so we'll see how it goes and if this is worth continuing! 


	2. These Streets

**A/N: Quickest I've ever updated... I think I'm gonna try and update every 2 days because of school work but I know where I'm going with this fic now, so ideas will come quick! Thank you for the lovely reviews/follows/favourites, it makes all the effort worth it! Enjoy!**

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Her shoulders ache. The strap of the bag digs into her shoulder as she walks down a street, one that she probably knows if she looks hard enough to remember. All she can see is her mother's face as she walked out the door, her ears still ringing with the howl she had made. Jane refused to cry. She wouldn't go back because they had brought it upon themselves. She wouldn't let herself even think about Frankie; he didn't deserve this, and he certainly didn't deserve Jane as a sister, someone that he had always considered loyal to just leave her family because _she _wanted to. _You had no choice._ That was what she kept telling herself. It was true; it was either stay there and be hated or run and find someone that would care about her.

Jane had always prided herself on her independence but out here, with rain clouds gathering overhead, she wished more than ever that she wasn't alone. She had always said that she could cope on her own; she was stubborn like that. But now she was alone and scared and those were emotions that Jane Rizzoli had barely ever felt. She hated admitting she was scared because it made her seem weak, and that was something she definitely was not.

Although, walking just as it starts to rain, she feels weak. She feels helpless. She feels alone. Her mind drifts to what her family would be doing right now. _Enjoying a nice meal without me there, the disappointment gone. _Deep down she knew that wasn't the case but it was enough to stop her from running back. She hisses as the strap of her bag digs even more into her shoulder, hitching it up as rain pounds the sidewalk. She wants a bed, any bed; she doesn't care, just somewhere to sleep all the pain away.

Rain drops dripped off her nose as she carried on walking, letting her feet take her wherever they felt like doing so. Her hair sticks to the side of her face and to her uncovered neck and with one hand she manages to turn up the collar of her leather jacket. The rain drops roll off it when she moves the bag again, switching shoulders.

More than anything she wants to go to a bar and get drunk to forget about what she's done. But that never solved anything before, and she doubts it will solve this. She can't afford to waste her money in dingy bars where she would just get harassed by strangers until she kicked off and got thrown out. She'd managed to hide those incidents from her parents. Her stomach clenches as she thinks about them and she manages to supress the tears once again.

A crack of thunder sounds overhead, making her jump. She wraps her jacket closer to her and checks her phone out of habit. Nothing. Not even a call from her mother. _Maybe they're expecting me to come home. But I won't. _With shaking hands, Jane unlocks her phone and scrolls through her contact list. She could delete it. Never have to fight the urge to go running back. She steps under the shelter of a shop canopy, amplifying the sound of the rain. She bites her lip, another habit she has. _Are you sure? _She's never been more worried about the consequences of her actions before now. Delete them, and she would never have to contact them again. The prospect sounded almost exciting and enticing if she wasn't so scared. What did she owe them? A phone-call home every week, just to catch up? _You owe them nothing, Rizzoli. Do it. You've got this far now just run and start fresh. _If she could afford a new phone, she would buy one, but that money was better spent buying food and paying people she hitched a lift from. Still in the centre of Boston, she couldn't help but feel a lack of direction. The motivation to go was there, but she had no clue of how to achieve the end she wanted. _Unless… No! You said you were gonna start fresh, cut all the ties to this place. You're not gonna go and beg. _

Shaking her head, making rain drops fall out like the smallest diamonds, Jane carries on walking through the streets, her feet splashing in the newly formed puddles. Turning a corner, she sees lightning flash overhead and a distant rumble of thunder. The sky is almost black. _Pathetic fallacy_ she thinks, her mind flashing back to her Literature classes.

There was someone she did have to see. A friend she had always relied on ever since her first day in High School when he had walked up to her all teeth, startlingly white against his black skin. Settling into a brisk walk, she soon finds the place where her friend Barry Frost usually hung around, where he waited after school for her back in the day. _The good old days. _Unlocking her phone again, Jane scrolls down to his name, hitting the call button. He picks up on only the second ring.

"Jane! Where are you? Your Ma just called askin' where you were, is everything okay?" His words go in one ear and out the other.

"I'll explain when you get here, Frost." Jane mumbles, standing aside to let mothers rush past with their children, getting them under covers and back into cars out of the rain that was pouring down. _Happy families. _Her mind drifts as she thinks about the future of those children, hoping they don't have to grow up in such a judgemental world.

"Get where, Jane?"

"The usual place. Just, please Frost, you know I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't important."

She can almost hear his grin down the phone. "Life or death?"

"Somethin' like that," Jane says, letting a smile flash briefly across her features.

"I'll be there in five," her friend says, and the hanging up. Jane walks over to the swings, supposing she can't get any wetter than she already is, sitting down on one of the swings. She dumps her duffle bag which is thankfully waterproof on the floor next to her, out of a puddle that was collecting by the steel pole of the frame. She wraps her hands around the cold, slippery chains, wondering if it is perhaps the most sensible option to start swinging. _Nothing to lose._

Her feet still touch the ground as she rocks back and forth on the swing. She has no energy to do anything more. She doesn't know what she's going to do. She doesn't even know why she's asked Frost to come here. She can't ask him to let her stay; she wasn't going to drag more people she loved into her mess. Frankie was enough, and she loathes herself for it. And she's not going to ask Frost to come with her, that would be just as unfair. She isn't going to drag him in too. This is her choice, and hers alone.

A few more minutes go by, and the thunder stops. The noise of the rain hitting the tarmac is all she hears for a few moments before she hears a call of her name, and sees Frost running towards her. He doesn't say another word until he's sat down beside her. He doesn't look at her bag, but she knows from his expression that he's seen it.

"So, I was right. You're leaving." It's not a question, but it's not judgemental right now. It's not pleading with her to stay. She's glad. It's not like she needs to break more hearts.

"I've gotta get out of here, Frost," she mumbles, twisting her hands in her lap as her body carries on rocking on the swing. "They… they just don't love me like their daughter anymore. They love me because they gotta, and they'd be bad people if they didn't. Heck, they're bad people anyways, not wanting me around."

"Of course they love you, Jane," Frost breathes, his breath steaming as it hits the cool air. He leans forward on the swing. "Not that I agree with them. You gotta do what you think is best… and if that's runnin' away, then I'm not gonna stop you."

"Thank you," she whispers, meaning it right down from the bottom of her heart. It aches to think about leaving Frost behind, but she can't will herself to ask him to come along.

"I'm comin' with you." Jane almost falls off the swing.

"What? No, Frost, you can't"

"Why not, I'm your best friend!"

"I… I want you to. But it's not fair on your family. On Camille. Gee, Frost, she's like a mother to me and I couldn't be dealing with the thought of taking her only son away from her, she don't deserve that!" Jane says, her tone firm, but kind nonetheless.

Frost is silent. "You'll call me won't you? Lemme know you're okay?" Jane breathes out a sigh of relief that he hasn't pushed any further.

"Course I will," she says, meaning it, resting her hand on the shoulder of his wet jacket. "You understand why I've gotta do this?" She doesn't wait for an answer. She's still trying to justify it in her own head. "I can't stay there, wasting my life away because of what they think of me. I'm not some freak, I'm a person who can do great things with my life. But I can't with them there, Frost. I gotta get out, experience the world, be accepted, Heck, even meet a girl just like me. You understand right?"

Frost stands up, and Jane with him. His grin is back. "You know I've always got your back." He claps her on the shoulder, and he goes to move away but Jane pulls him into a hug. She can feel him tense up because she never, ever gives hugs. But it feels right, because he's her best friend and she's the only person in this city she can trust. And the one person she is leaving behind. She grips his wet jacket tightly as his hands rest against her back.

"Look after Frankie for me? And try… try to make Tommy see sense, yeah?" she says, her voice thick with emotion as she pulls back. If it wasn't for the rain, she would almost think Frost was crying.

"They're my family, too, Janie," he says, the affectionate nickname making the corners of her lips turn upwards. "I'm gonna miss you."

"Aw, come on Frost, don't get all emotional on me now," Jane chuckles, trying desperately to cover up the even lower tone of her voice that threatens to crack with emotion. "I'll miss you too. Come and visit, yeah?" It could be a joke, but Frost knows she's serious.

"Where will you be?" Jane just shrugs.

"I dunno. But I'll be happy. And you're gonna want to see that." She knows the inevitable is coming. "Just… keep in touch, yeah?" And she holds out her hand. Frost takes it, gripping it tightly.

"See you soon, Jane. Good luck," he says, before she leans in, kissing him on the cheek. He turns on his heel, walking away from Jane, leaving her alone. Now she lets the tears fall. Frost is the brother she always wanted. He cared for her like she was family. And it broke her to see him walk away.

She would make sure she would see him again, she swears it to herself that no matter where she ends up, she's going to see Barry Frost again. Shouldering her bag, she heads back onto the streets, her legs feeling numb as the rain starts to slow down.

She walks for another hour before exhaustion catches up with her, as well as her emotions. She collapses into a shop front, the metal slide down, tucking her feet into the gap out of sight and undercover. She takes her phone out of her pocket with trembling hands, smiling sadly at the photo of her and Frost, before deleting all her contacts (except for him), not allowing herself to stop because she knows she wouldn't press the 'okay' button. Only then, after she's put her phone away, when she's truly alone and the street lamps flicker on as darkness settles does she allow herself to cry.

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**A/N: I know, I know, our favourite ME still hasn't appeared. Next chapter I promise! I just felt it was important for this part of Jane's story to stand alone! Please review/favourite/follow, it means a lot! **


	3. Overjoyed

**A/N: aaand I'm back! Within the two day limit I gave myself. I'm not sure how to feel about this chapter but here we go! Thank you for all the lovely reviews so far and I hope you enjoy!**

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She had been woken after her first night on the streets with a swift kick to the legs, jolting her away. The shop owner had told her to "Beat it!" or else he was going to call the cops. As much as Jane had wanted to stay and rest some more, she couldn't be doing with her parents finding out she had been arrested too. Although, maybe the confines of a police holding cell would have been more comfortable than the sidewalks of Boston that had been her bed for the past four nights.

She had shouldered her bag and carried on walking, not sure where she was going. She just kept going, eventually eating and then sitting around in coffee shops, pretending she was actually doing something. All the time she wished she could pluck up the courage and go and ask someone else she knew for help. She knew he would want to, but the thought of dragging Giovanni into her mess stopped her.

The first couple of days after her escape she kept thinking about going back. Her mother had kept calling her phone but after the first two days had obviously realised Jane wasn't returning. Jane Rizzoli always stuck true to her word and she wasn't going back if her life depended on it; which it almost did. If she couldn't get out of the city soon, she didn't know what she was going to do. She let herself get as hungry as possible before spending her money but she was just getting angry and emotional because she wasn't getting anywhere. She wasn't happy.

On the fifth day, possibly a Saturday, Jane wakes down an alley she had chosen as her spot for the night. Her back aches from the uncomfortable positions and she cracks her neck to relieve the tension that had built there. Her eyes itch, probably from the crying she did last night. She hates showing signs of weakness, but no one was around to judge her. She's just fed up; she wants something to make this running away business seem like a good thing. _You've got to go talk to him._ She rubs her eyes, stretching and then picking at the strap of her bag. _Stop being so damn stubborn, Rizzoli! _Cursing her internal monologue, she shoulders her bag again and strides out onto the street, trying to keep her head held high. Maybe today would be the day everything would make sense.

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The day passed without that epiphany. Jane kicks the stone along the pavement as she walks away from the café she was sat in, eating the cheapest meal she could buy and wishing more than anything that she could be at home for her Ma's lasagne. Tears cloud her vision again but she forces them back; even the home cooked food wasn't enough for her to forgive them. She was determined; or stubborn, she hadn't decided. She knew where she was heading but she didn't really believe that she was going to drag Giovanni into her mess so she kept diverting her tracks, circling back to where she had started the day.

A flyer flaps in the breeze, catching Jane's eye. She walks over to it. An art show. Normally, she would never go near one of those things, but she was different now. And, moreover, she's bored and she needs a distraction. Pulling the other bag strap onto her shoulder she sets off in the direction she read on the paper, towards Beacon Hill.

As she walks, her eyes glance across the street and she stops. Because there in the window of an old, worn down music shop is a guitar and it makes her fingers twitch. If she'd thought it through, she would have taken the guitar from her parents' room with her, a well-earned gift. But she didn't think, she was so blinded by anger and determination she had walked out without it. But now, stood there, Jane wants that guitar, to feel the strings under her fingers, the smooth wood and the happy feeling that wells up inside her chest whenever she plays because _damn _she is good.

_Fuck it._ Without another thought, she runs across the street and into the shop, grinning broadly at the assistant that is sat there behind the till. She doesn't even care about the money because she is going to be happy today and she is going to carry a guitar with her because she knows how much it'll help. It's illogical and she'll probably regret it in a few months when she can't pay for a hotel room, but it will be the one thing that is truly _hers. _

"How much for the guitar in the window?" she says, knowing how unkempt she must look. She hasn't showered in four days.

"Two hundred dollars," the assistant says, shrugging as though he knows that it's far too expensive. _You can't put a price on happiness, _Jane thinks, but inside her heart drops a little.

"Um… I don't suppose you've got anything a bit more…" she makes a motion with her hands. The assistant cocks his eyebrow. He says nothing, but gets up and walks into the back of the shop. Jane stands there for a few seconds, thinking he must have walked out on her and she feels stupid. No way was this guy going to sell her a guitar just because it made her happy.

But then, just as she is about to leave, he returns holding a battered but perfectly stringed guitar. "Just re-stringed this one this morning," he says, holding it out to her. She hates that he almost has pity in his eyes but she takes it and her face lights up. It feels wonderful just holding it.

"How much?" she asks, smiling at him, letting her fingers strum over the strings for a second. He shrugs again, folding his arms.

"Well I can't sell it out here in the front so… thirty?" he offers, scratching the stubble on his chin. Jane hands over the cash almost instantly. She's never wanted anything more. He smiles, pocketing the cash. "I hope you take good care of it. You look like you play well."

"Oh, trust me, I do," Jane grins, perhaps a little arrogant but the assistant laughs.

"Hold on, lemme get you something," he says, disappearing again for a second before walking back with a case. "Take this too." He waves away her money. "You need it more than I do," he says, looking at her bag and her dishevelled appearance. Holding out her hand, Jane shakes his.

"Thank you," and she has never meant the words more. Zipping the case up with the guitar inside, she heads outside, giving a wave to the assistant. She never much cared for strangers, but she was always surprised at the kindness of them. A spring in her step, she headed towards Beacon Hill, guitar in hand, feeling happier than she had in a long time.

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A few hours later, she was set up in the artists' alley, a fair way down so she didn't get in the way. She wanted to go and look at the art for something to do, but now she has the guitar, she just wants to play. Unzipping the case, she looks around again before picking up the guitar. The street is beginning to slowly fill with people coming to look at the art as she starts to tune the guitar, not exactly sure about what she's going to play.

The previous nights, she has hidden away, almost as if she's afraid of seeing someone she knows; but none of her family would ever venture up here so Jane let herself relax as she strums the guitar, letting the sound carry. She smiles as she stands up. She feels calm; this moment was hers and hers alone. No one she knew could interrupt her and tomorrow she would go find Giovanni and ask him about that old van. She had to start acting on her plan, and while she was happy, it seemed just as good of a time as any.

She waits until the street is fairly full before she starts playing. She has no music in front of her, but she doesn't need it. She doesn't care about the funny looks she gets from the other artists, she just carries on.

_Take me to the docks, there's a ship without a name there_

_And it is sailing to the middle of the sea_

_The water there is deeper than anything you've ever seen_

_Jump right in and swim until you're free_

Her voice carries over the heads of people. Some of them turn and stop to listen and others just walk on by. She doesn't care what they do because she feels _free_. She lets her heart rule her voice and her fingers as she carefully, but naturally plays out the tune. And then something unexpected happens; money is tossed into the open case beside her. She doesn't falter, but she looks down seeing a few coins against the black.

_I will remember your face_

_'Cause I am still in love with that place_

_But when the stars are the only things we share_

_Will you be there?_

She plays the tune for a bit longer than needed, but she's too interested in the people that are stopping as she sings. Jane feels a little self-conscious but it's only ten people that have stopped to listen and she's played in front of more.

_Money came like rain to your hands while you were waiting_

_For that cold long promise to appear_

_People in the churches started singing above their hands_

_They say, "My God is a good God and He cares"_

She sings the last line with bitterness but carries on looking at the crowd. And then, she sees her. Her fingers falter for just a brief moment when a girl comes rushing past. Her honey blonde hair glimmers in the street light, and her face is a picture of anger. But then she stops. She must hear Jane because she turns and watches, almost in disbelief. Jane carries on singing, staring at the girl because she thinks that she is the most beautiful person Jane has ever laid eyes on.

_I will remember your face_

_'Cause I am still in love with that place_

_When the stars are the only things we share_

_Will you be there?_

She's definitely going to remember this face, the way it's staring at her through hazel eyes, mouth slightly open in pleasant surprise that this voice is being carried down the street, like she can't believe she's hearing this. Jane allows herself a smile, and it's instantly returned. _That's _the most beautiful thing she's ever seen. Her hearts thumping, like this girl is connecting to her through her music and it makes her grin wider. Jane's singing this for her. She doesn't even hear the money hit her case anymore, she's just watching. How can she fall so hard in such a short amount of time? Something is pulling her towards this girl who looked so angry but now looks just as happy as Jane feels.

_I've got a plan, I've got an atlas in my hands_

_I'm gonna turn when I listen to the lessons I've learned_

Jane finds her voice again, bringing the song to a close. She barely hears the sporadic applause around her; she's fixated on the girl that's walking towards her. Reaching into her purse that she's holding, the girl takes out a couple of ten dollar bills. Jane's mouth drops open as she drops it into the case. The rest of the crowd have gone and Jane feels like she's floating.

"You have a lovely voice," the girl says with a smile. Jane wants to say something, but she can't. _Dammit, Rizzoli, she's not a fuckin' alien, say something!_

"Th-thanks," she stammers out. "You didn't have to…" she says, gesturing to the twenty dollars that are in her case.

"I know. But you moved me," the girl smiles. "It was very beautiful." Jane just smiles because she doesn't know what else to do. She wishes she was normal so she could just ask this girl for a coffee or a walk because Jane doesn't want to let this opportunity pass; but, the reality hits home. She's no match for a Beacon Hill girl; she's technically homeless. Her heart sinks a little. The girl looks to her left, biting her lip. "I… I have to go. Thank you." She says, walking away. Jane watches her go. She's hooked.

Jane sits down again, watching as the girl stops halfway down the street, far enough out of earshot, but Jane can still read her expression. Pretending to count the money in her case, she watches as the girl approaches on of the artists. Jane can see from here that her hand is shaking. There's a fair bit of noise from the other people in the street that it makes it impossible for Jane to hear what's going on. She watches as the girl starts to argue with the woman (her mother, perhaps?) her arms flailing about as she lets everything out, the older woman clearly shocked, not saying anything. Something tears through Jane; she wants to go and help that girl; that kind, beautiful stranger. She watches as the girl pulls out a card and instantly, the older woman gets defensive. She grips her daughter's arm and Jane's feet must be stuck to the ground because she wants to run over there and help. _You don't know her, just let her live out her life without your interference; you're no good, Rizzoli. _The girl pulls free of her mother's grasp, ripping up the card, letting it drop to the floor like snowflakes. The older woman looks disgusted, perhaps more at the people that keep looking at them.

And then it's over, just like that. The girl is off, running, and it stirs something inside of Jane. _I know the feeling._ She's been that runaway before, Hell, she still _is_. The woman is calling out the name of the girl, but Jane misses it because she's hastily putting the change in her bag and zipping the guitar away before hoisting her bag onto her shoulders, rushing past the other people in the street. She isn't going to let this girl make the same mistakes she has. She doesn't even know what that girl is going through but she wants to help because she was kind. Maybe it's just an argument between a mother and daughter but there's something eating away in the back of Jane's mind that maybe this was something more. Something to cause an argument in the street about. The girl had been truly touched by Jane's singing and that had made Jane happier than the money ever could. If she could just play one song and make the girl forget her troubles for a few minutes then she knew that the girl was probably feeling like crap. Jane knew. There had been days where she didn't think she could be happy or smile, but then something had happened, a random act, and there was that smile. She had done the same for a stranger, so it only felt right for her to follow through and make sure the beautiful girl was okay.

She pushes her way through the crowd at the end of the street looking left and right. _Dammit, where are you? _

* * *

**A/N: and there we are! Maura is finally here! More interaction next chapter, I swear. Exams are fast approaching so I might only be able to post a new chapter every week or so until near the end of May, but I'll definitely be writing! Please take the time to review, it really means a lot! If not, well I hope you enjoy my writing just the same!**


	4. Sleepsong

**A/N: I'm still not sure about this chapter, but we have some more interaction here which I know people will be pleased about! I've tried to make it as realistic as I can with what Maura is feeling. It's on the path to happiness and eventual Rizzles I promise! Thank you for all the follows/favourites/reviews! Means the world. Anyway... enjoy!**

* * *

Maura Isles knew that she didn't want to be in this place. As soon as she had run away from her mother, she knew that she didn't want to spend another second in her company, especially when she was so angry. Her hands shake as she pulls out a chair in the coffee shop, not sure if it's from the cold or from anger. She's never thought herself capable of such actions, especially in a public place. She feels sick; she's never spoken to her mother like that, which probably accounted for the shock on Constance Isles' face.

Her hands are still shaking and now her right leg is beginning to as well. She hates the situation she's in and it almost feels like a dream but she knows she isn't going to wake up any time soon. She wishes her mother would wake up and realise the reality about her daughter. The waitress comes over and Maura orders a coffee, desperate for her hands to have something to hold. Her mind keeps flashing back to the argument she had just had.

* * *

_"__Mother!"_

_"__Maura, darling, I was hoping you'd come down to see me!" But then Constance notices the anger flash in Maura's eyes. "Darling, what's wrong?"_

_"__What's wrong?" Maura scoffs. "Maybe the fact that I went back to my apartment for the night and found this sitting on my kitchen table!" She can't keep the anger out of her voice and the volume is slowly rising. She holds out a card in front of her mother. _

_"__Maura, let me explain—"_

_"__No!" Maura yells and sees a few heads turn. But she doesn't care. "I don't need an explanation! You can't accept me for who I am all because I won't spend the rest of my life tied down to a man like Garret! You're too concerned about keeping up appearances that you cannot see past your own needs and look at mine!"_

_"__Maura, please, you're making a scene!"_

_"__Let them stare, mother!"_

_"__Please, Maura, I am looking at your needs. I know that you would be far happier with a man like Garret, someone with connections and money. He can make you happy! It's all there for you, Maura, darling. We can just get you some help and make you realise this!"_

_Maura stands there in disbelief. "I… how can you possibly know that he can make me happy? Just because you've been tied to father all your life, doesn't mean I want to spend _mine _stuck at home with someone I will never love just to make you happy! I'm not just an object you can sell, mother, I'm your _daughter!" _Maura doesn't know where all this is coming from but people are staring and she feels sick. But she carries on. "I don't want money to make me happy. It never did. It was something that was thrust upon me and now you expect me to stay in the confines of your kind of people just to keep up appearances. I don't want a man to make me happy. I'm gay, mother and I don't understand why you can't just accept this and be happy for me!" She hates that her eyes are filling with tears. _

_"__I'm your mother, Maura, I know what is best for my own daughter! Why don't you trust me?" Maura stands there, horrified. How can she be still defending herself?_

_"__Because I know that you're wrong. You don't know me at all if that is what you think. I do not expect to see you again until you have called off this arrangement and accepted your daughter for who she is," Maura's voice drops again. She rips the card up, letting it drop to the floor. "And if you are so ignorant that you think a doctor is going to _cure _me, then you are not the mother I thought you were." And with that, she was off, running and not looking back_.

* * *

She jumps when the coffee is placed in front of her. Immediately she sips it and it burns her tongue. As if more things could go wrong tonight. She feels the start of a headache approaching rapidly and moves her still shaking hands to her head to rub at her temple, trying to ease the ache out. Her eyes close. Her mind is racing; she doesn't believe what she's done but Maura has never been angrier in her life. Actually, Maura never gets angry; she just bottles it all up and goes along with everything because it's easier than causing a fuss. But this was too big to simply push away.

Maura jumps as she hears a chair being scraped backwards, not too far from her. She opens her eyes. _Not far at all._ She blinks rapidly as she takes in the scene in front of her. The singer, the gorgeous raven haired singer from the street is sitting down opposite her. Maura shifts her gaze, knowing she's been staring; she just can't help it. The moment she had laid eyes on the olive skinned girl she had felt something deep inside her connect with the singer. The words in the song had moved her no end. She couldn't explain it but hearing that girl sing had distracted her momentarily from her anger; her voice was filled with such emotion that Maura had stopped breathing for a few seconds. It had been phenomenal.

The girl sits there for a few seconds, playing with her hands on the table, long fingers intertwining as she stares at Maura, like she's studying her, trying to think of the right thing to say. Usually, Maura would have pushed anyone away that had come to talk to her when she was feeling like this but she had no desire to run away from this girl.

"It's rude to stare," she says, her voice making the brunette snap out of her daze and dropping her eyes to the floor.

"Sorry," the girl apologises in a deep, husky tone that for some reason makes the hairs on the back of Maura's neck stand up. She's never heard a voice quite like that; distinctly feminine but so much more. "I… I'm Jane," she says by way of introduction. She clearly doesn't really know what to say but just the fact she's here is enough to make a small hint of a smile appear on Maura's face.

"I'm Maura. Maura Isles," Maura says, wrapping her hands around her drink again, letting it warm them. "You're a very talented singer." The girl, Jane, goes red.

"Um… thanks, it's just something I was born with I guess," she mumbles, running a hand through her long almost black hair. She lets out a breath. "Sorry, this probably seems totally rude," she laughs slightly. That sound is even better than her singing voice.

"Not at all," Maura says, sipping her drink. "I think I'm the one who was rude tonight," she whispers, holding the drink tighter. "You saw, didn't you?"

Jane looks almost guilty. "I… yeah, I did. I'm sorry, it's not my place to ask. Just when you stood there, listenin' to me I was glad just to put a smile on your face because you seemed upset about somethin'," Jane shrugs, pressing her fingers into the palm of her hand. "You were kind to me, so I just wanted to return that favour. People like you don't deserve to be upset."

Maura is silent for a minute. She can't quite fathom that Jane has said all this. She's known her for only a couple of minutes but already Jane feels the need to ask if she's okay. The kindness of strangers. It was beautiful. "Your song was wonderful. Just for a moment, it made me forget why I was so mad," Maura smiles, the memory burned into her mind forever.

Jane grins, just for a brief second but it's the nicest smile Maura has ever seen. The barista comes over and asks Jane if she wants a drink, but Jane declines. "You must be freezing, Jane," Maura says as the waitress walks away.

"I'm fine," Jane smiles, somewhat half-heartedly. Silence falls over them again. "Was that your mother?" Jane asks, clearly her interest getting the better of her.

Maura shifts in her seat. She's not usually so prone to fidgeting but she still feels uncomfortable about what she said to Constance. Sitting up straight and crossing her legs, she clears her throat. "Yes, she's my mother," Maura replies, running her bottom lip through her teeth. "We… we had a difference of opinion on a certain issue."

Jane slouches over the table, still playing with her hands. "I know the feeling," she says, offering a smile that doesn't quite reach the corners of her mouth. Somehow Maura believes Jane. Usually if she had a problem, her mother would always say "I understand, dear" or "I know how you must be feeling" but she never did. But there was something in Jane's tone that made her trust in this tall, lanky brunette with the most wonderful and kind voice she had ever heard.

"I wish you didn't," Maura sighs. Jane's jaw sets still and Maura's worried for a moment because she thinks she's upset Jane and the last thing she wants is for Jane to leave and for her to be left alone… again.

"You know… I mean, only if you wanted, you could talk to me about it. I know you don't even know me, but maybe it'll help if we're in similar situations," Jane pauses. "Sorry, this probably seems really weird, it's just I've not spoken to anyone in almost a week so this is probably just, I dunno, word vomit or somethin'" she trails off and Maura can't help but think that it's very sweet that Jane wants to help her.

"Word vomit?" she questions.

"Yeah, you know, when your brain can't keep up with your mouth and all that," Jane says, slumping back in her chair.

"Oh," Maura says simply. "I was going to say, it would be impossible for you to actually vomit words. In any case, I hope you're not sick. Do you feel ill?"

Jane raises an eyebrow, staring at Maura, before she lets out another laugh. "I didn't mean it literally, Maura," Jane says and Maura loves how her name rolls off Jane's tongue like it's the most natural thing in the world. "So… what do you say? I mean, about the talk. I don't have anywhere I need to be, so if you'd like to…" It really was adorable when Jane was flustered.

Maura chews her lip again. She wants to tell her every secret to this woman. She doesn't even know her but something makes her trust Jane more than she has ever trusted anyone else. She can't explain it. But she can't keep all of this pent up inside her, it wouldn't be good. She can't turn Jane away, not after what she's offered. Maybe she can help Jane too. "I'd love to," Maura finally replies, seeing relief enter Jane's expression.

"Should I order that coffee?" Jane asks, a smirk gracing her features.

"Well, it's definitely a long story," Maura says as Jane orders her drink.

"Good job I don't have a house to get back to then," Jane says, the hint of sadness not missing Maura's ears. She glances down at the side of the table where Jane's bag is, as well as the guitar.

"Are you homeless?" Maura asks frankly, letting her drink warm her insides. Jane is silent for a few seconds. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry. I was just curious," Maura says, offering her apologies. Jane waves them away with her hand.

"Don't worry about it." But her expression looks far from okay. "I suppose I am. I doubt my parents would let me back into their house even if that was where I wanted to be," Jane sighs, her eyes staring at nothing as she thinks for a few seconds. It makes Maura sad to see someone so kind and clearly selfless so hurt and troubled. The connection is lost for only a few seconds and Jane turns her attention back to Maura with a smile. "That's not important. Let's hear your story."

Maura takes a deep breath, waiting until Jane's coffee arrives before starting in hushed tones so no one else overhears their conversation. She watches for a few seconds as Jane sips her drink, watching Maura with deep brown eyes.

"I come from a very wealthy family. They have connections all over the city, even across America. They believe money makes the world go round, so to speak. And they have always expected me to believe that too. But I don't think it does. When I was a child, they thought money could buy me happiness. It bought me everything I could ever want; a nice school, holidays in Paris, a nice house in Beacon Hill and a place at BCU," Maura just lets her mind take over, not filtering anything, but hesitating as she finishes to watch Jane's reaction. Nothing is said, and Maura takes it as a cue to continue.

"I knew I was lucky. And I was grateful. But I would have traded in all that money just to hear my parents say that they were proud of me for being who I am, that they loved me for who I was as a person, not because of what I had achieved. I'd have given anything for them to call me up every night just so they could say 'I love you'," Maura blinks back tears, not sure why she's spilling her heart out to this woman. But it just feels right. She doesn't feel judged.

"I kept thinking that one day they would ignore how they were seen by others and just accept what made me happy. But they haven't and instead decided to arrange for me to get married to this man called Garret. I've known him most of my life and he's a nice man but I just don't love him," Maura drains the rest of her coffee. "They want me to marry him because it looks good. Because then I'll have a home and a husband and I'll be able to have children and be a loving, good housewife. But it's just not what I want." Her hands are shaking again with anger and she stares at them until her eyes widen as olive skinned ones cover her own. She looks up at Jane, surprised at the affection from just one simple touch. Her monologue falters for a few seconds.

"I want to be my own person. I could never marry Garret. I would never love him more than I would a friend. I would never love any man that my parents chose for me. I want to experience everything life has to offer for myself. I don't want to stay inside a house I could never call home when I could be out there making a difference in the world. But my parents can't accept that and it…" she pauses, looking into Jane's eyes, overwhelmed by the compassion there. "It breaks my heart." She wipes away a tear that threatens to roll down her cheek and feels Jane squeeze her hand comfortingly.

"That's what I was arguing about with my mother. I told her that I don't want to be married off like I'm an object. I'm their daughter but they won't accept me unless I do what they think is right and I just can't because… because I'm gay," she says the last words quietly but Jane doesn't miss them. Her grip on Maura's hand relaxes but she doesn't move it. Maura watches as the corners of Jane's mouth turn up just for a brief second.

"They think they know what's best for me but they cannot understand anything I'm going through. They want me to get help." For some reason Maura laughs, drawing her hand out from under Jane's. "They're just not the parents I thought they were. And now I don't know what to do," she finishes in a quiet voice, looking down at her lap, not ashamed to let the tears flow over her cheeks and drip onto the tops of her hands. There's a silence which seems to drag on for hours.

Slowly, she raises her head to look at Jane. She hasn't run away. And Maura just knows that she won't. Her eyes are full of compassion and her jaw is set, like she's angry as well. There seems to be some stunned disbelief at the words that have come pouring out of Maura's mouth and Jane seems tense.

_But she hasn't run away. _

* * *

**A/N: And there we have it! Some nice (hopefully?) Maura POV for you all. I hope I did her background justice. Trust me, I have big plans for this fic and it will all make sense eventually! I just want to say, before it happens, that I appreciate reviews very much, but I think there's a fine line between constructive criticism and downright rudeness... if you don't have anything nice to say, please don't say it! If you have something nice to say, however, feel free! Until the next time...**


	5. Winter Winds

**A/N: Sorry about the time it took to write this, but I didn't really know what to write... I have the rest of the story planned out better though! Thank you all for the lovely reviews, they make me smile! I hope you enjoy this one!**

* * *

Jane Rizzoli has never been speechless. She's always there with a smart-ass comment, or a joke or kind words to her closest friends or protective stances for her brothers and Frost, even her Ma whenever her father would start mouthing off to Angela. But sitting here in this café next to the most beautiful girl she had ever laid eyes on, she was speechless. It wasn't the honey blonde hair that rolled off Maura's shoulders in perfect waves, nor her hazel flecked eyes or her flawless bone structure that made Jane speechless; it was the words that had just come pouring out her mouth like a cascade of emotion that couldn't be stopped.

Jane didn't know what to say; how could this kind stranger be so hurt and so angry? Hell, Jane was angry. No one deserved to be treated like that, just for being who they are. _We have more in common than when she started the story_. When Maura had first spoken Jane had wondered what she'd let herself in for but as she found the real reasons for Maura's tears, her heart had shattered a little. They weren't so different after all; different places in the world, but the same problems, proof that no matter what your privilege, you were entitled to your issues. Jane had never _really_ judged people from wealthy backgrounds; she just didn't mix with them and she hated to judge people she didn't know.

But she felt like she knew Maura Isles. Not just small things like her favourite colour, or flower or book but the big thing, the one thing that made her sad and made her hurt. And Jane knew that she was going to give to Maura what she wanted herself, however much she hated to admit it; help. If only she could open her mouth and say something vaguely inspiring or kind and not make jokes to make someone feel better. Luckily, she didn't have to.

"Why is it… that it's so much easier to tell a stranger about the most intimate and deep rooted secrets about your life?" Maura's voice is soft and full of sadness which makes Jane frown. Maura's hands are on the table and Jane reaches for one of them, marvelling at the soft skin under her own hand.

"Because a stranger doesn't judge," Jane says and smiles as she sees the corners of Maura's lips turn up. "I'm not gonna judge you for who you are. You might be from a very different background to me, both good and bad parts. Arts and religion, rich and working class, absent and overbearing family. But really, we're not that different. Hearing what you've just said… it made me realise that you can never judge a book by its cover because even the most different person at face value might actually be the closest reflection of yourself."

Jane takes a deep breath, removing her hand from Maura's. "And… and that might make you realise what you yourself needs. And you need someone, I think, someone to tell you that it's okay to feel what you feel. Because it is and no one should ever say otherwise. And so I'm here telling you that it's okay to be angry and scared because I would… I am too. And I never admit I'm scared."

Jane pauses, choosing her next words carefully because she doesn't want to sound cliché and she doesn't want to give Maura a false sense of hope but there is something in her gut that is telling her she's right. "You're scared and angry and maybe confused. But this means you'll make a choice. And it'll be the right choice. And I know that you're gonna look back later on and be so happy that everything turned out okay. Because it will, it always does." Jane's voice softens to a whisper near the end of her small speech, thinking about her own choices. That's what she wants too; to be able to look back and know she made the right choices.

She wants it even more for Maura Isles.

* * *

Maura watches Jane stare into the middle distance, her eyes not focussed on anything but her mind soaking in the words she has just spoken to Maura. _I hope you realise that too, Jane. _She wants to know Jane's story but knows that its rude to pry. She wants to know how similar their circumstances are so they can do this together because for some reason they have both shared too much to never see each other get through this. And Maura wants to know why this stranger, the kindest of strangers is hurting so she can help. Just how Jane helped her.

"Thank you," Maura whispers, her hand still under Jane's, the other playing with the long since empty coffee cup. She feels Jane tense over her hand but she doesn't draw away.

"For what?"

"For listening. For understanding," Maura smiles. _How can one person be so kind but be so alone? _"This is probably going to sound ridiculous but it feels like I know you better than I have ever known anyone in my whole life. You understand so much and you relate to me better than my own family…" she trails off, looking back into Jane's chocolate brown eyes. If she really thought about it, she could piece together why Jane has so much in common but the thought of Jane being rejected by her family too sends shivers down Maura's spine. The woman across the table smiles.

"Me too," she half-whispers, squeezing Maura's hand. Maura looks around the coffee shop, finding it deserted. One waitress is cleaning the tables and is clearly in the process of closing for the night.

"It looks like they're closing," Maura says, not sure what she expects in response nor why she said it in the first place. She notices the gleam dissipate slightly from Jane's eyes as her gaze drops to the bag and guitar beside her. _I don't want to let her go back out there alone_. _And I don't want her to leave me._ Jane stands up before Maura, picking her bag up and hoisting it onto her shoulder and picking the guitar up with her other hand. A grimace appears on her defined features; _she's in pain. _The sight of seeing someone that cares about her hurt sends a dull throb through Maura's body. She stands too, smoothing her dress down, feeling a red heat spread up her neck. When she glances up, she sees Jane avert her gaze far too quickly. Maura doesn't care; she prides herself on her appearance, not because she's vain, but just because she loves to dress with care and attention.

They walk out of the shop together, standing on the corner of the street. The air makes their breath steam and she notices Jane shivering. There is no chance that Maura will let this kind, generous stranger freeze on the streets of Boston tonight. However, she doesn't think that Jane is the kind of woman to accept much help, no matter how cold it is.

Instead, Maura takes the plunge. "Jane…"

"Hm?" The raven haired woman turns her head, her smile slightly beaten and sad. _She doesn't want to go either_. Maura watches the tendons in Jane's wrist flex as she adjusts her grip on the guitar. There is no denying that Jane is a beautiful human being. _Both inside and out_.

"Would you… would you mind walking me home?" Maura asks, trying to hide her real motive. "Just in case my mother has decided to show up outside or-"

"I'd like that," Jane cuts her off, her smile slightly wider this time. "I'd have insisted." They walk back to Beacon Hill in comfortable silence, the occasional sound of the strings of the guitar hitting the case breaking it. Somehow, Maura has never felt safer. Yet, knowing this woman is beside her, knowing that she is in a similar situation and knowing that tomorrow she might never find Jane again, she has never felt more alone. She can't let this opportunity pass her by; she isn't letting the one person that understands her, leave. Jane isn't pitiful, she's understanding and truthful and no one has ever been those things to Maura.

* * *

The silence isn't awkward as they near Maura's house. Jane lets her mind drift, wondering how she has come to be in such a strange but wonderful position. Maybe its fate or maybe she just happened to be in the right place at the right time. Either way, she was glad it had happened; it made the pain of the last week seem worth it.

In part, it scared her how attached and how close she had become to someone in such a short space of time. She never let anyone past the walls she put up, apart from Frost, but she would gladly tell Maura every secret she had. _Except you can't because you have to leave her_. Jane's smile she was forming falters. She doesn't want to leave her, but there is no way she can see herself staying. She wants to take Maura with her wherever she goes so she can protect her because kind people deserve something good and constant in their lives and Maura is the kindest person she has ever met.

_So what, Rizzoli? Are you gonna stay here and watch her every step and never leave this city? _Jane bites her lip as they round the corner onto what Maura had said was her street. _If that's what it takes. _The instinct to help Maura rises up inside Jane like a flame, reaching every corner of her body. She wants to do this; she has never really wanted anything more than to help Maura Isles be who she so deserves to be. It consumes her and it terrifies Jane because she doesn't think she should be feeling like this about someone she has just met a few hours ago. But already there was a connection, something binding and Jane doesn't want to let it go.

Maura freezes in her tracks beside her. Jane doesn't notice for a few seconds, taking a couple more steps before turning back, her eyes wide with concern. "Maura? Are you okay?" she asks, taking a step towards her. She follows Maura's gaze down the street, just a few doors away where a woman is stood outside. The woman turns and Jane recognises Maura's mother from the artists' street. It's Jane's turn to freeze when a cold, soft hand grips at her wrist. She looks down to see Maura's hand gripping her wrist and the terror she feels matches the expression in Maura's eyes.

"No, she can't be here," Maura whispers, her grip tightening as her mother turns around and meets her gaze. Jane walks to meet her, pulling Maura along with her. Her mouth opens in shock slightly as Maura's mother pushes past her to rest her hands on her daughter's shoulder. Jane's wrist is torn away from Maura's arm as Maura moves, and Jane can't help but clench her fist at the obvious fear in Maura's eyes.

"Maura, darling! I was getting worried, you should have called me to tell me you were still out, I've been waiting here so we can go inside and talk," Maura's mother says, her voice and tone fake to Jane's ears. Maura seems frozen.

Jane clears her throat. This woman doesn't intimidate her and she hates how Maura is scared of her own mother. "Mrs. Isles, Maura is clearly old enough that she doesn't have to call her mother to tell her when she's going to be home," Jane says, Maura snapping out her daze to stare at Jane and then look back at her mother.

"And you are?" Mrs. Isles' voice is stern and cold.

"Jane. I've been talking with your daughter tonight. Learning about how angry and how sad she is about the way she's been treated like some sort of object," Jane tries to keep the anger out of her voice but its failing. She just wants Maura to be left alone.

"I'm sure Maura can talk to me about what is bothering her so much. Why don't we go inside, darling?" The last part is directed at her daughter whose mouth tightens and arms fold across her chest.

"I don't want to go inside," Maura whispers. "I don't want to go inside my house while you're still here. I've told you why I'm angry and why I'm sad but I know what you're going to say and I do not want to hear it, not tonight after Jane has been so kind, kinder than you ever were or will be. So please, just go, mother, because I have nothing to say to until you understand how I feel." Jane's heart swells with pride and emotion as Maura speaks in a soft but firm tone. She wishes she could stand up to her own mother. _But no, instead you ran away, you coward. _Jane grits her teeth.

"Maura, you don't understand what you're saying. You've been… around these sorts of people too much at college—"

"Hey, lady—" Jane starts but she's cut off by Maura.

"'These sorts'. You don't know the first thing about Jane and already you're judging her because she isn't like you, mother. And I'm glad she isn't like you because she's understanding and she's caring and she seems to be putting my needs before hers and that is very admirable. I've only known her for a few hours but I know her better than I know you mother because I thought you would always accept me." Jane stands transfixed. Never before has anyone stood up for her.

"I don't want to hear from you again, mother until you accept I will not marry Garret and I most certainly am gay, however much you despise to hear it. This is my life and I will share it with whomever I please," Maura finishes, staring her mother right in the eyes. Jane raises her eyebrow as Mrs. Isles looks at her, her lips thin.

"One day you'll realise some families are better than others, Maura. You _will _marry Garret. And I won't hear any more of this nonsense." Jane is shaking either from anger or cold. She wants to push this woman right out of Maura's life because the pain that is etched on her face at this second is too much for Jane to bear.

"I'll never marry him, mother. Now leave me alone," Maura says, trying not to be defeated. Jane is full of admiration for this younger girl. She may not think it, but she is very brave. Mrs. Isles gives Jane one last look before heading off down the sidewalk, not looking back as she turns the corner.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that Jane," Maura says, delicately clearing her throat.

"Nothing I haven't heard before," Jane mutters, still staring down the street. "You're pretty damn brave standing up to your mother like that."

"I'd say it's foolish," Maura mumbles, biting her lip. "She can't control me. But I don't think she'll ever realise."

"Then she isn't worth any more of your tears," Jane says, brushing Maura's cheek with her hand, pushing away the sparks that seem to fly inside her. Maura gives a small smile, pulling her keys out of her pocket and walking to her front door, Jane following.

Just before the goodbyes are said, Maura turns on the doorstep. Jane's bad mood is already returning but it's not anger or fear its sadness that she has to leave this girl all alone and afraid. It weighs her body down and makes the bag on her shoulder seem even heavier. But she has things to do and a van to buy and a new life to live.

"Well…" Jane starts before she is interrupted.

"I'd like you to stay with me tonight, Jane" The bluntness of Maura's tone startles her. _She wants me to stay? Stay how? I can't do this, I can't drag her into this mess that's my life. _Maura must notice the shock on Jane's face because she lets out a small laugh. Jane can't seem to answer; she's totally stunned.

"I can tell what you're thinking. But I want you to stay. I'm sorry if I've upset you," Maura questions, tilting her head.

"Uh… sorry, it… it was just unexpected." _Dammit Rizzoli, just keep your cool. When have you ever turned a beautiful girl down?_ "But I can't accept that, Maura."

Maura smirks and Jane can't help the red the creeps up her neck. "Well, yes, it surprised me too. A lot of things about tonight have surprised me and I'm not usually that shocked. But learning that my confidant and the one person that cares about me is without a place to stay, I want to offer somewhere for you to sleep tonight," Maura says, gesturing behind her.

_Of course she means a place to sleep, you idiot. _Jane is almost relieved. She wouldn't be dragging Maura in for just one night on a comfy sofa. And she has really missed the comfort of blankets and pillows. And this way she could protect Maura. Jane knows she's trying to make excuses to stay, but she doesn't need to because Maura is the one that's offered.

"O… okay. Are you sure?" Jane asks, hoping that Maura is very, very sure. Maura just smiles and nods.

"Please, you've protected me once tonight. Now let me do the same for you. The kindest acts can come from strangers," Maura's smile widens, opening the door and gesturing for Jane to walk inside. She pauses before stepping over the threshold, still looking at Maura for confirmation that it's okay for her to be here. Jane feels slightly out of place but she would give anything for a nice soft pillow. She'd sort out her morals later.

"You can come inside, Jane. I promise I don't bite."

_That smirk alone would make me want to stay. _

**A/N: Thank you for reading! I wasn't too sure about this chapter, but I promise things can only get better! We'll be hitting the main storylines soon; we're still in background here. I hope you all stick around for the more exciting bits because I've got big plans here! The next update won't be for another week because I have important exams happening. Please continue to review/favourite/follow! Makes the day brighter :)**


	6. No Roots

**A/N: Sorry about the wait but writer's block combined with exam stress took its toll! This one was a bitch to write and I've changed a lot from my original plot, but I hope you enjoy it all the same! A couple of people have asked if this will be Rizzles and the answer is yes it shall be... after many more chapters involving angst. Thank you all for the stunning reviews it really makes me happy! Anyway, Jane's first night at Maura's... enjoy!**

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_You're so out of your depth here, Rizzoli. _Jane has to keep her jaw pressed tightly together for fear of it dropping open as she steps over the threshold of Maura's Beacon Hill house. She feels like she should take her shoes off and clean the floor after each step she takes. She pushes down the uncomfortable feeling settling in the pit of her stomach; she can't help but feel awkward. This place probably cost more than what her parents earned in ten years, but it was clear that money was just a commodity to people like the Isles'.

Maura seems to sense how uncomfortable Jane feels because she folds her arms across her chest, like she's about to defend herself. Not that she needs to because Jane whole-heartedly believes that, given the chance, Maura would leave the money behind just to have a sense of family.

"Well it's certainly better than the sidewalks of Boston," Jane says with a small laugh, trying to break the tension that's settled over the two women like a toxic gas. A smile tugs at the corners of Maura's mouth.

"It would be even better if it didn't remind me of my parents so much," Maura says with a small sigh. "It's like they're looming here, watching everything I do." Jane stands in the entrance hall as Maura moves into a side room to switch on the lights in there.

"At least your parents aren't actually a _real _presence. They can afford to buy their daughter a house away from them." The words don't intend to be as harsh as they come out and Jane opens her mouth to apologise as Maura re-joins her in the hallway.

"Does my money make you uncomfortable?" Maura asks, not unkindly. Jane has never felt more cautious. This woman has invited into her home and Jane doesn't want to start complaining for fear of sounding ungrateful.

"Me and my big mouth," Jane mutters. "Um… well, no. I mean, yes. Kind of. It's just a big change from what I'm used to. It's nothin' personal, it's just a very different world. I…I'm sorry, Maura, I'm really grateful, honest," Jane finishes. It's not like her to be unable to string a sentence together. She really does not want to mess this up; Maura's had a crap enough night already without Jane being ungrateful and saying the wrong things.

Relief washes over Jane as Maura smiles. "Money is a poor substitute for family and love, Jane," she says and Jane has never felt so awful at her own words. She'd heard something similar before and it was not a concept that sat well in her memories, ones that she's tried to forget. There was some truth in what Maura was saying, however; the house didn't feel lived in. There was clearly only one person who lived there but there had been no input into the atmosphere of the house by other people. Whereas Jane's home had consisted of pictures of her family through the decades and felt warm, Maura's house showed no sign that she was someone's daughter. It felt cold, like there was something missing.

"The floor won't cave in if you move Jane, honestly," Maura says with a light laugh, shaking Jane from her own thoughts. She follows Maura through an open archway into a spacious and beautifully decorated living room, with a kitchen attached, not even stopping her jaw hanging open slightly. Jane had always resented the upper classes for their view on people like Jane; she hated their money and she hated the fake pity. But there's nothing fake about Maura. If anything, she looks just as uncomfortable as Jane. Jane had experience of wealthy families like the Isles' looking down their noses at Jane's family, calling them blue collars, like they were some sort of second class citizen. Jane's father always had a thing or two to say back at them, and so had Jane herself at a particular time in her past. She'd hated herself for weeks afterwards. _You weren't fair. _There was something different about Maura however; just because Jane's experiences had been bad in the past, it didn't mean that everyone with a bit of money was stuck up, arrogant and a downright bully. Jane trusts her own judgement about Maura and she's sure that it would cause just as much offence to her as to Maura if Jane based her opinions on her class.

Maura stops in the living room to shrug her jacket off and fold it neatly over the back of the couch. Everything seems so distinctly _Maura_. Even in the short space of time that Jane has known her for, she wouldn't have expected anything else from Maura's house. It was impeccable, neat and tidy beyond belief. Jane has to fight the impulse to throw a cushion on the floor and she's actually surprised that the drawers and cupboards don't have labels on them. It all suited Maura's put together personality down to a tee.

"I'm sorry the place is such a mess, but I didn't expect to have company," Maura says knitting her fingers together in front of her. Jane throws back her head and laughs.

"You're kidding, right?" she asks, raising an eyebrow. "Maura, this place is cleaner than a freakin' hospital!"

Maura frowns slightly. "Well I highly doubt that."

The conversation filters off as Jane's attention is caught by the dress Maura is wearing. She instantly tries to avert her gaze, but she's sure that Maura noticed her eyes drift up as Maura folded her arms across her chest. Maura Isles is beautiful, there is no denying it. Jane feels a lump rising in her throat and red seeping up her neck because that dress highlights all the right places and Jane can only inwardly curse herself for finding this woman attractive. They're helping each other out, and Jane isn't going to give herself a reason to mess up. _Not like before. _Her eyes betray her body as they follow Maura's actions as she takes off the black heels from her feet. Jane practically growls at herself in her head after a voice asks how Maura's calves became so toned. Luckily, she looks up and away just as Maura turns her head, but the redness is still on her neck and she knows it. It almost feels like Maura is analysing her.

The stare Maura gives her seems to make everything all too familiar; a raised eyebrow, the faintest hints of a smile and dimples. The lump in Jane's throat stays for a different reason and she can feel the pure white hot flare of hurt rise up inside. _Too familiar. _It's taking every inch of willpower to stay, to keep her feet planted firmly on this woman's floor. The reality comes crashing through like a train and it crushes Jane's chest. The similarities were almost too much. Time stands still around her, the clock ceases to tick. Yet, for her, everything happens so quickly that she can't process it fast enough until she realises she's about to cry in front of a stranger, but who already seems like she could be so much more.

Jane silently tries to clear her throat and fails, but it relieves the lump in her throat. If Maura knows she was about to cry, she shows no signs of it and for that Jane is grateful. More grateful than she was for the invitation to stay the night.

"Can…" she clears her throat again, her voice sounded even deeper and raspier than usual. "Can I use your bathroom?" she asks hurriedly, scared that if she looks at Maura Isles for one more second, her entire heart will collapse from the weight of three year old memories.

"Of course, this way," Maura says, still seemingly oblivious. Jane's brain can't keep up with her emotions and her legs are shaking. She hasn't felt this broken since… well, since three years ago. Maura leads her through another spotless corridor and gestures to the door on her right, letting Jane pass through first into Maura's bedroom. She barely pays it any attention as she spots the bathroom, heading over to it, forgetting totally that Maura is stood watching her. Jane thinks she might be sick and the bile stings the back of her throat.

Jane forces a smile and then closes the door to the bathroom, holding her meagre lunch down as she hears Maura's footsteps pad away. Then it all comes up at once and Jane feels like a wreck. She holds her own hair back as she violently vomits into the pristine toilet, praying to whatever God is up there that Maura can't hear her. She tastes bile mixed with salt from her own tears and she just wants to curl up on the tiled floor and let all her heartache pour out. She flushes the toilet and stands, her shoulder aching.

_Three Goddamn years, Rizzoli! Put yourself back together and go thank Maura with everything you've got for letting you stay here when you're such a mess. Is this what all this is about huh? Kate?_

"Kate," Jane whispers, wiping away her tears on the back of her hand. She feels like she's looking at a poor, distant reflection of herself as she stares into the mirror. _That's not me._ But it is. It's Jane, heartbroken, still piecing back together her soul after three years. She's broken. And she hates it. She hates how one girl caused her so much agony and she hates that she can't be strong about this. She's been strong for three years. When she told her parents she was gay, it was like she'd accepted what was coming. _On the run like you, Kate. On the run because of you. _The last thought sent shivers down Jane's back. She doesn't want to be this person, striving after the impossible, trying to reach her dream. _She's gone, she's never comin' back, let it go. _The same three phrases had repeated themselves for months after Kate had left.

Weakness is a trait that Jane loathes, but somehow it's become a part of her, however much she denies it. It consumes her. It rises up at the worst times and becomes every inch of who she is and she detests it. Cold water hits her face and she looks back up into the mirror, water dripping off the end of her nose.

"You're doin' this for _you, _okay?" she says to her reflection. "Not her, not anyone else, you're doin' this 'cause you have to. Kate is gone." Her voice breaks slightly on the name but she feels the weakness dissipate slightly. Deep down Jane knows that she was looking for this excuse to leave, to find, to seek. And it had led her straight into the path of Maura and now, yet again, Jane was trying to protect someone else. _Your heart rules your head_. And it was true; Maura Isles had left a big strain on Jane's heart even if it was only one night. Jane feels she knows Maura better than she's ever known anyone else; she's being drawn to her by an invisible rope and it's as if Kate is wheeling Jane back down to Earth, to the reality that Maura Isles is far too similar to Kate for Jane to reason clearly.

Jane dabs her face with the towel, wishing she could hide the red rims that had formed from the crying. There's a knock on the door.

"Jane?" _Maura_. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah!" Jane calls through the door, startled at how raspy her voice is. "Yeah, I'm fine," she says again after clearing her throat. The door handle turns and Maura pokes her head around the door, smiling softly. "You can come in," Jane says, smiling. _You make it sound like it's not her bathroom, Jesus. _Maura leans back against the door as she closes it.

"Would you like to use the shower?" Maura asks, gesturing to it. It's only now that Jane realises how large the bathroom is.

Jane raises her eyebrow. "You're lucky this isn't a date 'cause I don't usually like to be told I stink," Jane smirks, crossing her arms. _Normality. _There's something comforting about making jokes with Maura.

"Showers are more second date material anyway, Jane," Maura smiles, walking over to the shower and Jane lets out a loud laugh. _Where have you been for the past three years, Maura Isles? _"And I never said that you 'stink'. Sorry if I'm being insensitive, but it's just a logical conclusion to draw if you've been sleeping on the streets for a while."

Jane's smile softens as Maura doesn't wait for an answer and explains how to work the shower. She walks out into the bedroom and re-emerges a few seconds later holding two fluffy white towels. "Here," she says, handing them to Jane. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me," Maura smiles, leaving and closing the door behind her. Jane pushes the lock across on the door, her hand resting on the white polished finish.

_This could be it. The new start. _Jane ponders the thoughts for a minute as she turns on the water and strips. She tests the water with her hand and watches the drops bounce off her upturned palm. Catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror, her hand comes up to trace the scar on her right shoulder. It was a constant reminder of what she had lost. But it was also a reminder that she had pulled through and she was stronger. And, if someone had asked her, she would do it all again.

_A new start. _Jane drops her hand and enters the shower, letting the water wash away days of dirt and grime and three years of heartbreak. _If only I could take Maura. _

* * *

_She was crying in your bathroom. _Jane didn't think that Maura would notice and it was clear that she was trying to hide it from Maura. But Maura knew as soon as Jane had asked to go to the bathroom. Confusion had settled in her brain, not something that appeared often but Jane was upset about something and Maura didn't know what. Maura likes to know the answers to every problem, she likes to be logical and reason why people act the way they do. But Jane was a puzzle to her. One minute she was joking with Maura, making the aches of the day disappear, and the next she was crying in her bathroom.

Maura's first instinct had been to open the door and comfort Jane, but she had only met the woman a few hours ago, and no matter how much she thought she understood Jane, it was clear this woman might always remain a mystery. _Just one night_. She couldn't let herself become emotionally involved with this woman, no more than she already was. Jane doesn't seem the sort of person to accept help, and Maura can't help but wonder that as soon as Jane stepped out her door the next day, if she would ever see this unfathomably kind stranger again. She will look for Jane, of course she will, to make sure she's okay, that she's happy. She felt a pull towards Jane, in that alley, something invisible drawing her towards this mysterious, kind person. But she doesn't want to scare her away, not when Jane has been the only person to truly understand Maura. She doesn't want Jane to go because she fears she might lose the one person that's searched her whole soul.

Jane had admitted to Maura that she had felt scared, and Maura wanted to do everything she could to make Jane feel comfortable, even if it was just for the night. Every inch of Maura's brain screams at her to find out more, to keep pushing, because she wants to know Jane better than she knows herself. And she wants to help.

Maura can still hear the shower running and picks up Jane's bag and guitar, moving them to the master bedroom. Something makes her freeze; it's barely audible over the sound of the shower running, but it's there. Its Jane's voice; more precisely it's her singing voice. It warms Maura from the inside out and a hand goes instinctively to her chest. It's the most beautiful sound she's ever heard. Maura gently places the guitar that's still in her other hand down on the floor next to the bed, her heart hammering in her chest as Jane's voice filters through the walls. It's like honey and wine, emotion dripping effortlessly from the words that pour from the bottom of Jane's soul. _Why are you so broken? _

Maura leaves quickly, shutting the door of her bedroom behind her, resting her back against the cold wood. Collecting herself, she stands there staring at the blank, pastel blue wall. What did the world ever do to Jane to make her so sad? Maura absentmindedly plays with a ring on her finger, twisting it as her legs move ahead of her brain back towards the kitchen. She pulls a bottle of wine out of the cabinet to the right of the fridge, and two glasses from the cupboard above it. Her thoughts distract her momentarily as she picks at the label on the dark green glass. More than anything she wants to help Jane, but if she did, there would be no chance of letting Jane leave.

Maura jumps as the shower is turned off, some of the wine she was pouring spilling, leaving small red drops of the counter top. As she clears it, she can hear humming coming from down the hallway and she smiles to herself. She wonders if Jane even knows she's doing it.

A few minutes later, Jane walks out of Maura's bedroom, her still slightly damp hair pulled back into a loose ponytail, wearing an old Bruins jersey and the jeans she was wearing before. It's surreal how at peace and how at home Jane looks, as though she's retracing a faded memory. Maura stands up, walking over with the other wine glass, offering it to Jane.

"Do you feel better?" Maura asks, half-asking about Jane's emotional state as well. Jane takes the glass and their fingers brush, making Maura jump, like she'd just received an electric shock.

"I feel cleaner, that's for sure," Jane says, offering a lop-sided grin. It's endearing. Maura watches as Jane sniffs the air, her eyes widening. "Somethin' smells good!"

Maura sips her drink, hiding a smile as they walk back over to the kitchen island. She pulls open the oven door, using oven gloves to pull out the left over lasagne she was warming through. Sliding it onto the counter above, she goes to grab two plates and then spots Jane's face. The wine glass doesn't hide the small frown behind it. Jane looks away as soon as she makes eye contact, pressing her lips to the rim of the glass. Maura knows she shouldn't get defensive, but her arms fold across her chest anyway and she raises an eyebrow.

"You didn't have to cook, Maura," Jane says, her voice slightly muffled from the glass.

"Why do I get the impression you don't like to be helped?" Maura says, unable to understand why Jane wouldn't let her look after her for this one night. Seeing Jane clearly so broken earlier had made Maura even more determined to take care of this woman, no matter how stubborn she was.

A brief smirk flashes across Jane's face. "Because I don't want other people to feel put out. And ever since I was a kid, I was always independent, more than my brothers. I like to know I can look after myself if… well, if somethin' like this happened," Jane takes a sip of the wine, staring into the dark red liquid.

"You are deceptively complex, I do not understand you," Maura says with a sigh, a hint of amusement underlying her tone. She grabs the plates and dishes up, walking back over to Jane. She sees the small smile when Jane notices she's put far more food on Jane's plate than her own. "Independent or not, you're staying here tonight. And I like all my guests to go to bed with a full stomach," she says, finality in her tone as she pushes the plate towards Jane, holding out a fork.

Reluctantly, Jane takes it, staring down at the food in front of her, her jaw set. She picks at a corner of the food. Maura doesn't even touch her plate. "Are you okay, Jane?"

It wasn't a question that needed asking. Jane's hands were shaking slightly, something that did not go unnoticed by Maura. She clears her throat, looking up at Maura before quickly looking away again, like she was afraid Maura would be able to read her mind. Even if it were scientifically possible, the mixture of emotion in Jane's eyes would make it too complicated to find a coherent, straightforward thought.

Jane nods, but sets down her fork, carefully to the side of the plate. "It's just my Ma always made the best lasagne," she says, in hushed tones as though she's afraid Maura will hear her. Maura doesn't realise she's doing it until her hand is covering the one of Jane's that's resting on the top of the island.

"I've told you my story, Jane," Maura says, offering a smile. "And I'm more than happy to hear yours." It was less of an offer, more of an obligation. Jane's eyes meet Maura's again. _She's afraid and she's sad. She's so kind yet she's so broken. _Maura watches her every move, every little shift in Jane's unrelenting gaze, like she's willing Maura to retract her offer, begging almost. Maura matches her; she wants to analyse everything Jane does, make it fit into a pattern that she understands. Because she wasn't lying; Jane is definitely the most complex human being she has ever come across.

**A/N: So... it'll be interesting to see what your thoughts are on Kate. I said from the start, this will not be straightforward Rizzles. But I hope you stick with me on this because I think it'll be an interesting journey! (Literally and metaphorically...) Please review/follow/favourite it makes it all seem worth it!**


	7. Heart of Gold

**A/N: I can only apologise for the wait with this chapter, but I had major writer's block and loads of work stuff to do. But I will try to update every week, maybe sooner but I won't leave it for any longer between updates. I made this one a bit longer to make up for it (I hope). Thank you all for the reviews/favourites/follows, you guys are amazing!**

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Trust. It's radiating off Maura in waves that hit Jane at full force. Jane has accepted every other offer of help begrudgingly, but Maura is giving her a chance to talk and Jane doesn't feel like being stubborn anymore._ Worth the pain. _One night of trust; after all, Jane's planning on leaving as soon as she can. Her brain is battling several thoughts at once; asking Maura to come with her, leaving Maura behind and finding her own way because she doesn't want Maura to get hurt. Jane is inexplicably drawn to this woman and she can feel herself getting pulled in deeper with every passing second and for some reason, it isn't scary. She's never opened up to anyone, but Maura… well, she's just different.

Jane had laughed to herself when Maura had, in more words than were needed, called her stubborn. She knows deep down its true, but she prefers the word independent. It's not that she doesn't appreciate Maura's help; she does, more than anything. It makes Jane realise that perhaps other things need to end for good things to take place. After so many years of fighting her own battles, of being beat down time and time again, it's made Jane stronger than she thought she was and weary of trusting other people. Everyone she had loved had hurt her; Kate, her mother, her father. But Kate most of all. So Jane knows that sooner or later, she'll end up hurting Maura, or being hurt by her because somehow this briefly established trust will break.

So why does she want to stay? Jane doesn't understand what's different about Maura, but for some reason there is a voice inside her head that says the pain will be worth it. Maybe there won't even be any pain. Maura has the sheer will to carry on trying to help and to listen to Jane where most others would have just walked away. And Jane feels admiration for this woman, this woman who isn't so unlike herself. _She's just not afraid to admit when she needs help._

Jane picks up the fork again, twirling it in her hand, looking at the one that is covered by Maura's. She's distracting herself, she knows she is but she knows that Maura won't back down. She puts her fork back. "Okay, I'll tell you," Jane says, nodding as though confirming it to herself. Maura's hand pulls back and Jane immediately wishes it was there again; it was comforting. To give herself something to do, while thinking through her words, Jane starts to eat, only then realising how hungry she is.

She swallows, watching Maura who's staring at her. "You said that your parents wouldn't let you back into your home if you went back to them. How about you start there?"

The corners of Jane's mouth turn up, silently thanking Maura for giving her a way into this. "Okay, but no interruptions or else I'll stop and never speak about it again," Jane says, half-jokingly. Maura smiles and nods, sipping at her wine but not touching her food.

"So, five days ago, I told my parents that I was gay," Jane starts, picking at her food again before taking another mouthful. It isn't like Maura is going to judge her but Jane doesn't miss her eyes widening slightly. She holds her hand up to stop Maura speaking, raising her eyebrow. "Unsurprisingly for an Italian-Catholic family, they didn't take it too well… I think deep down I always knew I was different. My Ma always said that she couldn't wait until I got married and had kids so she could be the grandmother she had always wanted. I didn't see why it had to be me, I mean, I got two brothers, they could provide the grandkids too. But I suppose my Ma just wanted the best for me, but she didn't understand what I wanted. Even if I was straight, I wouldn't've wanted to settle down, it's just not me. I was at a Catholic school for a few years before I put my foot through a window tryin' to kill a fly."

Jane grins at the memory, taking another bite of perfectly cooked lasagne. "So my parents took me out and sent me to high school where I was still heaps of trouble. But I enjoyed it. I'd protect my brothers who joined after me and I was never afraid of a fight with older boys. Pretty reckless. I loved playin' softball and my dad even signed me up for ice hockey. And I hated shoppin' and I wasn't the proper girl that my Ma wanted." Her gaze rose to look at Maura and she swallowed. "She'd have liked you. All proper and stuff." Maura just tilts her head slightly, understanding but not pitiful. "I knew she loved me, flaws and all but I think she was disappointed that I was basically another son. But I was happy and so she was happy too. I even let her teach me how to cook, so that was somethin'.

"Then when I was 17 I knew then that I was gay. It wasn't a question of being like one of the guys, it was just who I was. I wasn't tryin' to fit in any more than I did already." _Don't mention Kate, she doesn't need to know. Block her out. Just this once, block her out. _"That Christmas was the best. Dad got us tickets to go see the Bruins. We didn't have a lot of money, ya see? I loved him for that and I idolised him. But I felt kinda ill for a while after, 'cause I knew I'd end up disappointin' him when I… when I came out." Jane's voice falters slightly as she holds back the emotions that she didn't realise she had, building up inside her. She's never admitted so much to one person in such a small space of time. But Maura makes Jane feel like it's _okay_ to feel what she does.

"'Course, when I told 'em they started sayin' all this crap. 'It's a sin, Janie!', 'It's an abomination!', 'it's unnatural!'" Jane's voice goes high as she does the best impression she can of her mother. It breaks up the darkness building inside her. "I knew then, deep down that I had to get outta there. Couldn't stay in a place I wasn't wanted. I'd idolised my dad for years and seein' him not treat me like his own blood…" Jane stares at the forkful of food she's holding and eats it, letting the silence drag on slightly. Maura still doesn't speak.

"It broke my heart," Jane says, so quietly she isn't even sure she said it out loud. "I left because I couldn't face being in a place where I wasn't wanted. There was no point. So I figured I should just leave, try and make my own way in the world, ya know? American Dream and all that. Not really what I saw myself doin' this year but… but it kinda feels right." _It feels right that I've met you._ "Just hope it all works out okay." She says it with hope and finality in her voice as she carries on eating, not looking at Maura, just waiting for her to speak. The silence isn't uncomfortable as they both eat and drink. It's almost a welcome change for Jane. Maura, despite not having said anything, understands. She is still sat there, she hasn't told Jane to leave and it's comforting. It's safe. Jane scrapes the last remnants of her lasagne on her plate, holding the fork in her mouth as she sits there, wondering why this feels so totally normal.

"Here." Her head snaps up and she removes the fork. Maura is holding her own plate out, putting it on top of Jane's empty one without regard for Jane's protests that are forming in her mouth. "I think you need it more than I do," Maura says, the smile warming Jane to the tips of her toes. There's no pity, only care coming from her hazel eyes.

"It must be very hard for you," Maura states, sipping her wine. Jane shrugs, like that's all she needs to say. "Life seems to play the cruellest tricks on us. Women like us are more generally accepted in society now, but it seems we can't even be accepted in our own families. Although the Bible doesn't condemn homosexuality outright, it has been taught that way. But some people stick more rigorously to these teachings than others."

"You religious, Maura?" Jane's never wanted to know more about someone than she has about Maura Isles.

"No, I'm not. I prefer to find my grounding in scientific fact. I find it hard to comprehend something there without evidence to prove it. I don't like to guess or theorise. But I can certainly see the appeal of being part of a religious movement," Jane listens, intrigued. "I've studied many religions, just out of curiosity, and found them all fascinating in their own right. I may not necessarily agree with some teachings, but many people don't agree on what science can tell them. But I like to think there is more truth in science. But then, both aspects of our society are open to debate. Even scientists can disagree just as much as religious leaders."

Jane just sits there, in total awe of this woman. She's never spoken to anyone so unlike to herself. It's refreshing, it's great to hear someone talk with her about things she never did. It is almost humbling. Jane likes to keep opinions on these things to herself, and admires how Maura enjoyed talking openly about such things. Jane never really had a chance for a diverse childhood, and she doesn't suppose Maura had either; it was just Maura had actively done something about it. It wasn't that Jane wasn't clever; she just preferred to be outside playing sport rather than studying. But, hearing Maura talking like this, seeing how interesting and captivating she was, made Jane almost regret not doing so. She wondered how such a beautiful, selfless, fascinating woman could be so alone.

"You should know, Jane, that deep down your parents still love you. You're not a bad person for walking out on them, you're doing what you feel is right. And there is no shame in giving up if it all gets too tough, it just shows that you can accept when things might not be working out how you want them to. You do deserve this to work out, however, and I'm sure that wherever you go, you can find some sort of stability and happiness," Maura finishes with a smile, but her eyes don't convey this. Jane can't quite place the emotion there.

_Stability. That'd be nice. I just have to get there first. And how I wish I could reach that point with you, Maura Isles. _

* * *

Maura clears away their plates, putting them in the sink. She can feel Jane burning holes into the back of her head with those glorious chocolate brown eyes. She felt proud to know Jane's story; it was clear this woman rarely opened up to anyone and for that, Maura was grateful. She could see why Jane didn't; it seemed when she had told her parents her biggest secret, everything had fallen apart in her life.

But Jane is doing something about it, despite the fact she clearly seems to not see it as a big deal. But to Maura, it shows how brave this woman is. She is giving her life up to start again, with no knowledge of what the consequences will be. Jane feels like it's her duty to go and start again, to find meaning in her life. Maura admires her, but yet, is slightly jealous.

Maura wishes she could act on impulse, she wishes she could follow Jane to wherever she's going to go. She wishes she could pack a bag and leave. But Maura likes to calculate the odds in these situations, and by the time she has done so, it might be too late to do anything at all. She couldn't leave all this behind and be so ungrateful. _Maybe you can. Jane can do it, so can you. _

Maura shakes her head and grips the edge of the sink. She isn't like Jane. _I'm not brave like Jane. _Maura can't help but wonder what would happen if Jane stays. Maybe Jane could make her slightly braver, maybe they could work all this out and maybe, just maybe, Maura could pluck up the courage to start again in her life, away from her mother, the stereotypes of her class and Garret. But for some reason, a part of Maura doesn't think this is possible and she hates that it hurts. She's jealous and she's sad because Jane could leave her, this kind, wonderfully complex stranger could leave her life just as quickly as she entered and Maura does not want that to happen.

It's not logical, and it can't be explained by science. Maura may be young, but she relies heavily on what the facts tell her. And right now, as she turns to face Jane again who is still sat at the kitchen island, they tell her that she does not want this woman to leave her here, in Boston, alone.

"Would you like me to get you another drink?" she asks, refilling her own glass, gesturing towards Jane's full one.

"Just water would be great," Jane smiles. "Sorry, I don't really drink much, and when I do I drink beer. The wine was nice though. I just try not to drink. I… I went through a rough patch a couple of years ago."

Maura's face pales. "I'm… I'm sorry, I should have thought about it first," she mutters, looking down at the dark red liquid in her glass.

"Hey, c'mon, you were just bein' polite. It was just a normal thing to do, you couldn't have known," Jane reassures her. "You barely know me, Maura. Hell, there are a lot more things I haven't told ya."

"Well, I'd love to know you better. Not that you have to tell me everything of course, especially if you're going to be leaving…" _Was that selfish? I'm not sure if I want her to leave, even though she'll be happy. _"Why don't you go sit down?" Maura gestures towards the couch. "I'll bring you some water."

* * *

The comfort of Maura's couch seems to relax Jane's body even more than it already is. The tension she holds between her shoulders disappears and she lets out a contented sigh. Everything feels so normal here, even though it's a world away from what Jane was used to. Her eyes drift shut for a few blissful seconds until she hears the soft padding of Maura's feet along the wooden floor. She opens one eye, staring up at Maura who has a small smile on her face and is holding a glass of water. Although it wasn't just an ordinary glass of water; there was ice, a wedge of lemon and some green stuff that, if Jane wasn't mistaken, was mint. It seemed that Maura Isles was far from ordinary, and Jane found herself being pulled towards her by the pure intrigue of this Beacon Hill girl. Grinning, Jane takes the glass and sits up, crossing her long legs onto the couch.

"Thanks." She sips the drink, the pleasant coolness hitting the back of her throat. She doesn't miss Maura hovering slightly before she sits down next to her. Unlike her helicopter mother, Maura's caring attitude is subtle and not overbearing. She's concerned, Jane can tell, and she would be lying if she wasn't herself.

Maura sits so her body is turned towards Jane, her legs delicately crossed in front of her. The glass freezes Jane's fingers but she's too busy watching Maura to care. There seem to be a thousand questions on the tip of her tongue, and unusually, Jane feels the need to answer every single one of them as truthfully as she can. She drinks again and sets the glass down on the coffee table.

"It looks like you might explode if you don't ask me somethin' soon," Jane chuckles deeply.

"Well, that is highly unlikely, if impossible, but I won't deny that I can't help but be interested in you," Maura tilts her head as Jane looks down at her hands in her lap.

"It's safe to say no one has ever called me interesting before," Jane says, her laugh slightly hollow.

"I don't see why not, I'm sure there are plenty of interesting things about you. For example, what did you do after high school?"

Jane is slightly taken aback by the question, opening her mouth and closing it again. She runs her hands down her jeans. "Well, I applied to BCU."

Maura looks down at her glass. "It's very hard to get into," she says when Jane doesn't continue.

"I got in," Jane grins as Maura's gaze shoots up, clearly surprised. Her mouth hangs open slightly in shock. Jane never usually takes so much pride in her achievements but she is immensely proud of this one.

"But you didn't go?" Maura is quizzical, almost confused.

"Nah," Jane picks up her glass again, tapping out a meaningless rhythm against it. "My dad would have sold everythin' they had to send me there. I couldn't do that to them." Silence.

"Did you ever tell him?" Maura's voice is soft.

Jane just shakes her head, but keeps a small smile on her face. "It'd make him too sad." There's nothing to be heard apart from their breathing and the occasional tap of Jane's fingers against her glass.

"I was right. You are interesting. And very selfless." Jane stares at Maura as though she's grown an extra head.

"I… I'm not selfless. I've done lots of selfish things," Jane mutters, feeling rather abashed. She stifles a yawn and rubs her eyes, not realising how tired she actually is. The nights on the streets had taken their toll.

"I don't think you give yourself enough credit, Jane. You're kinder and more selfless than you think. No one else would have come to sit with me tonight, but you saw I was upset and you came to find me, no matter what it meant for you. It seems to me that you have a heart of gold," Maura states, rather as though it's a fact she's just found on Google.

Jane flashes her a big grin. "Yours is pretty golden too, Maura." And she means it. Maura seems to know exactly what to say to Jane to make her feel better. _That's what friends do. _Friend. She has only felt so at ease around two other people; Frost and Kate. She felt the same about Maura, maybe even more so because it had been in such a short space of time.

Maura sets her now empty wine glass on the coffee table. Jane can feel her gaze warming the left side of her face. "Would you like to go to bed, Jane?"

Jane snorts into her glass of water, wiping her nose as she looks at Maura. "So, you don't consider that second date material?" she jokes, raising an eyebrow. Evidently Maura doesn't understand because she blushes, staring at her hands in her lap.

"I didn't mean that, I only meant that you looked tired so I presumed you might to go to bed… alone," Maura fumbles her words slightly and the put-together nature drops for a second. Jane hides her smirk in her drink. She puts it back down and jumps up.

"You're kinda cute when you're flustered," Jane grins. _Cute? What the hell, Rizzoli? Just come on to her on the first night you know her, yeah good idea asshat. _Her smile falters until she sees Maura standing up. "I'll uh… just go grab my stuff from your room."

Jane shakes her head at herself as she walks down the corridor, not hearing Maura follow her until the bedroom door clicks shut behind her. She raises an eyebrow as she turns around, holding her bag and guitar. Maura is leaning against the door, looking at Jane, effectively blocking her exit.

"Do you… uh, need me to stay here? You know, for protection or whatever?" _Now who's the flustered one, idiot. _Maura gives a small smirk of her own, walking over to the bedside table and opening a drawer. Jane stares, eyes wide as Maura pulls out a sleek black Glock, setting it down.

"I don't sleep with people on the first date, as you said." Jane blushes. _She's got you there. _"I have that, it's fine so you don't have to stay if you feel uncomfortable." Jane is shocked by the fact Maura owns a gun, staring at it on the table.

"Maura, do you even know how to fire that thing?" Jane asks, putting her bags back down and folding her arms. Maura picks up the gun, smiling.

"Of course I do," she says, but waving it around as a gesture. Jane instinctively cowers, laughing and taking the gun from Maura, unclipping it.

"There, it's not loaded so you won't accidentally blow a hole in your wall," Jane chuckles, sitting down on the bed, gesturing for Maura to come and sit next to her. "Now, place the gun in your right hand," she instructs, handing Maura the gun. "Okay, and curl your left hand around your right, and put your finger on the trigger." Jane pushes aside the small shock she gets when she adjusts Maura's hands, trying hard to not meet Maura's gaze. "Now, aim. Okay, that's great, and relax your shoulders," Jane says with a totally unnecessary touch to Maura's arm. Maura's eyes flicker to Jane's hand, which she removes too fast to be normal. "See! Now you can fire it properly," Jane smiles, taking the gun back and reloading it before putting it back in the drawer. "But I'm still having the right side of the bed."

Jane hopes Maura doesn't think she's joking about staying. There's not ulterior motive in Jane's actions; if Maura wants to feel safe, Jane will try her best to be that protector. It's a habit she has, to make people feel safe and no one seems to deserve it more than Maura.

"Where did you learn how to shoot a gun? Should I be worried?" Maura asks, trying to hide her laughter behind sincerity.

Jane pulls an old Bruins jersey out of her bag along with a pair of shorts, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Well, when I decided not to go to BCU, I thought about joining the police academy so I figured I'd get some practise in. but…" Jane pauses, unsure of how to go on. "Then stuff happened and I decided to leave it for a couple of years… and now, I'm here." Jane tries to smile, but the fact she had to leave her dream of becoming a cop at the doorstep of her family home when she walked out, makes it impossible. _Maybe one day. Just maybe, when you get all your shit together with Kate. _But Jane wasn't just thinking about Kate; now, Maura Isles was firmly in her hopes to, the hope of a friendship that wouldn't be wrecked by Jane.

Maura doesn't push the topic. "I think you'd make a brilliant police officer," she says, leaving Jane with a smile as she goes into the bathroom. Jane watches the door for a second with a big grin on her face. She strips off her clothes and quickly changes into her pyjamas. It should be weird, sleeping in a strangers bed; not that she hadn't done a couple of times, but this was different. It just felt right.

Jane plugs her phone charger in and waits for the display to flicker into life. Maura returns from the bathroom, closing the door silently. Jane hears her shuffling on the other side of the room but she doesn't concentrate as texts from Frost appear on her phone. She grins, opening them and immediately feeling guilty for worrying her best friend and for leaving him behind. One day, she'll see him again, she's promised herself.

_Make sure u text me back when u get this Jane, worried bout u_

Jane hears Maura get into bed beside her and turns her head, glancing at the honey-blonde.

_Don't worry. Got a new friend taking care of me. call u when im on the road_

Jane locks her phone, and shuffles under the sheets of the bed, feeling content for the first night in what seems like forever. She breaks the silence. "I'm glad I found you, Maura Isles." She turns her head and matches Maura's soft smile.

"I'm glad you found me too, Jane"

* * *

**A/N: Sorry if this seems really slow, but I feel its import****ant to get their backstories established first! More action towards the "road-trip" next chapter!**


	8. Not With Haste

**A/N: I can't apologise enough for the wait. I've been busy with school, on holiday and had writer's block and redrafted this thing 5 times... I have everything planned for the next chapter and for the entire fic and I'm writing the next chapter as you read this (or I'm at school...) Thank you again for the wonderful comments and for following/favouriting this fic, it means a lot to me! **

* * *

_She was paralysed. She could hear the door opening downstairs, and she knew what was going to happen before it even did, but her body refused to move. It was like invisible ropes held her down to her own bed, so all she could stare at was the ceiling as she heard footsteps get closer and closer. Her gun was out of reach, her arms refused to listen to her brain screaming at them, begging them to move or just do something. She kept yelling at herself to run, to get out somehow; cut the ropes and run. But nothing happened, all she could do was lie there as the floor creaked and his heavy footsteps got closer and closer to her bedroom. She was going to die here. She was going to die alone._

_The bedroom door creaked open, his shadow being thrown across the room, drowning her. She wanted to move so desperately, but nothing was working. It was like she was dead already. Fear consumed her, filled her up to the brim until it overflowed in the form of tears. Her heart was pounding in her chest and all she could look at was the gun that was too far out of reach. She sobbed for her mother, her father, her friends and for all the people she would never meet._

_He leered over her, grinning. This wasn't right, this wasn't what had happened. She would escape any second now, she had to. Or maybe it was, and maybe she was going to die. She was gripped by fear, her heart pounding her chest so loud that she could hear the blood rushing in her ears. He whispered her name and pulled a sharp knife out of the back of his jeans, grinning. She was definitely going to die._

_She saw the knife rise above her head, positioned above her heart. The knife fell and everything went black_.

The room comes swimming back into startling focus as she shoots up in bed, shivering and crying. She isn't dead, she is very much alive because there are strong, comforting yet strange arms holding her. The arms pull her in close to an unfamiliar body that smells of lavender and honey. The world around her is blurry as Maura cries. She doesn't even question who the arms belong to because she's too shaken and in need of comfort to care. Her hands grasp at a t-shirt, wetting it with her tears as she buries her head against it, crying out all the fear from the nightmare.

Maura can hear her heart hammering in her chest. Her hands are clammy and sweat is dripping down her spine and Maura can assume that, along with all the other symptoms, her knees would probably give way if she tried to stand up. She tries to gulp in air as the sobs dissipate, breathless from crying, trying to relax her racing heart by getting as much oxygen back into her system as she can.

"Shh, it's okay, it's okay."

A voice softly speaks soothing words and somewhere in the back of Maura's mind, there's a memory of where she's heard that voice before. Her thought processes are slowed by the heavy weight of fractured sleep that lingers, and has done for months, but she knows she can find comfort in that voice.

The silence is overwhelming as Maura calms down. There is nothing apart from the slow and steady breathing of two bodies pressed close together, with the occasional sniffle from Maura. Her knuckles are white as she carries on gripping the t-shirt, her forehead pressed into the side of the other person. Stability returns slowly. Her grip loosens on the shirt, but the arms stay around her and keep her close. She focusses on the breathing of her companion, her apparent knight-in-shining-armour; the rhythm calms her enough to lift her head. The nightmare has become a distant memory, but the terror lingers.

"Maura?" The voice is questioning, soothing and calm. Safe.

_Jane_. The haze of broken sleep leaves her as she remembers what happened just a few hours ago. Everything comes flooding back and waves of memories crash through her mind. Jane is holding her, the same Jane that Maura had invited into her life the moment she met her gaze in the small side street off Beacon Hill. Jane, who had stayed by her side to protect her and who was proving now that she was more than capable of doing so. It doesn't matter that Maura has only really known her for one night because it feels like she knows Jane better than people she's known her whole life. It didn't feel strange to be woken from a nightmare and held by Jane. It all felt oddly normal.

But she knows that acquaintances or even friends don't just wake up clutching at each other and it takes a lot of time to build trust between two people. Maura doesn't see why it has to be that way, especially when she and Jane seem to have outstanding amounts of trust even in a matter of a few hours. Social expectations baffled Maura; they weren't set in stone, there was no logical process and friendships were volatile and unexpected. To Maura's scientific and logical mind, it seemed a whole lot of hassle for it all to fall apart at some point; to others, it just made her seem detached and emotionless.

She shivers as Jane pulls away, immediately missing the contact. Maura brings her knees to her chest, resting her chin on them, staring resolutely ahead. Twice now, Jane has had the chance to see just what she is letting herself in for if she chose to stay with Maura and be part of her life, no matter how briefly; and twice, Jane hasn't run away but let Maura find solace in her presence.

She hears shuffling and then squints as the light is turned on. She blinks, ridding her eyes of the unshed tears and adjusting them to the intrusion of the light. Maura glances to her left, seeing Jane cross her legs, facing Maura. She notices the hesitation as Jane reaches out to place a hand on Maura's shoulder, as if she's afraid Maura might break, but if Maura couldn't be broken by the reality of her dream, then she wouldn't be broken by the nightmares.

"You had a bad dream." It was more a statement than a question but Maura nodded glumly anyway. She feels pathetic, tear tracks down her cheek all because of an incident that happened a year ago and that she still wasn't totally over it. She didn't know if she ever would be. And here she was, sat in the same bed, next to possibly one of the bravest and selfless people she had ever met. Maura brushes away the tears that were forming again.

"Hey, it's okay, you're safe now, yeah?" Jane squeezes her shoulder and Maura forces a smile. Jane returns it, pushing gently down on Maura's shoulder, making her lie back. Maura closes her eyes and exhales slowly. "Do you… uh, want to talk about it?" Jane asks quietly, making Maura's eyes snap open.

She plays with her hands that rest on her stomach. While she had shared almost every other detail about her life with Jane, she wasn't sure if she wanted to talk about this. It was too personal, too scary and she would rather not relive the real nightmare even if it was to Jane. She's sure that Jane has darker secrets of her own and it isn't like she's under any obligation to tell Jane anything more than she already has. Suddenly, Maura feels defensive, like Jane is intruding when she might not even be staying long enough to help Maura. "No, I don't," she snaps. Why, after telling herself she didn't owe anything to Jane, does she instantly feel guilty at the look on Jane's face; her eyes widen slightly and her mouth droops into a concerned frown as she looks down at her hands.

Maura turns on her side, looking up at Jane, resting her head on her hand. "I'm sorry, Jane, I know you're just trying to help. It's just…" Jane flops back down on the bed, turning her head to look at Maura, a small smile on her face.

"You don't have to apologise, Maura. We all have our secrets, yeah? Friends keep secrets from each other, too," Jane tucks her hands under her head as she turns her body to face Maura, their knees touching.

Maura cannot help the smile that slowly spreads over her face. Friends. She didn't get the impression that Jane was the sort of person to use the word 'friend' lightly. It seems to have more depth and meaning than it would usually, more emotion and heartfelt gratitude behind it. With Jane, the word 'friend' offers loyalty, protection, hope and happiness.

"Friends?" She needs Jane to confirm it.

"Yeah," Jane smiles, grabbing the duvet and pulling it back over them so only their heads were visible to each other. "'Course we're friends."

"I…" Maura stops herself, biting her lip. Jane's stare holds a certain intensity that makes her continue, despite her brain willing her not to. "I've never had a friend before."

Jane looks shocked, but not judgemental. "Never? Not even at BCU?" her voice is soft and carries a certain understanding. She's inquisitive, but she isn't pushing the subject in a way that makes Maura want to close up again.

"No, not really. There are a couple of classmates I talk to, but only when they need help with something. I never get the offer to go out with them and I never really want to. They stopped asking after a while," Maura says, very matter-of-factly. Jane's eyebrows knit together as she looks at Maura.

"I'm sorry," she half-whispers.

Maura rolls onto her back and sighs. "Don't be sorry, Jane, it's not your fault. I've never been very sociable anyway, but I appreciated the offer. I'd much rather spend my time studying than partying; I know which will benefit me more."

Silence fills the room again. Maura can feel Jane's gaze on her, as though she's studying her. Then Jane rolls onto her back as well, their arms pressed against each other. They meet each other's stares as they turn their heads. A playful, kind smile is on Jane's lips and Maura can't help but smile back. "You'd tell me if you were a cyborg, right?" Jane asks in her deep tone, nudging Maura gently.

Maura controls her laugh, fixing a stony glare at Jane. "No, I don't think I would." Jane laughs and instantly Maura does too, unable to stop herself, warmth spreading to every part of her body. It's the most wonderful laugh she has ever heard.

"C'mon, let's try and get some sleep, yeah?" Jane says, nudging Maura's arm again and then leaning over herself to turn off the light, to plunge them both back into icy darkness. But with Jane here, beside her, makes it seem like going back to sleep is not such a bad thing. Nothing is going to hurt her tonight.

* * *

Lying there, in the dark, Jane stares up at the dark ceiling, hearing Maura's breathing get steadier and steadier as she falls back into a deep sleep. Jane had never expected to be woken by Maura's sobs and the experience had panicked her so much that all she had wanted to do was to hold Maura until she stopped crying and try to wake her up from the grips of her darkest dreams.

Still hazy from sleep, she had focussed all her attention of the quivering, shaking blonde until she was certain that she was okay. Even then she hadn't pulled away. No matter the length of their friendship, it was ultimately her duty to make sure Maura was safe; she felt that responsibility with every person she became friends with. It was only with one other person that she had felt that pull so strongly.

There's a choice to make here; a huge one that neither her nor Maura could predict the consequences of. Jane rolls onto her side, staring at Maura who now looks so at peace. A piece of honey blonde hair has fallen across Maura's face. With no sense of willpower, Jane reaches out to tuck it behind her ear, swallowing the lump in her throat. Her hand retracts quickly as Maura shuffles in her sleep, an adorable frown crossing her features.

She shouldn't be doing this, she shouldn't let herself get so attached to this girl, especially so quickly. It is hard to fathom the strength of the connection she feels towards Maura Isles. They have shared so much in this one night that being apart, that running away alone, seems reckless, foolish and altogether impossible.

Exhaustion forces Jane's eyes shut and almost instantly falls asleep; but not before she feels another shift in the bed next to her and an arm across her stomach.

* * *

Sun filters through the closed curtains, flooding the room with the rapidly fading summer heat that causes Maura to kick at the covers with discomfort. There was no use trying to get back to sleep once she opened her eyes for a brief second. Maura turns on her back away from the window and the harsh light, wishing that one day she would wake up and feel like she got a decent night's sleep.

Maura blocks the invading light with her arm before deciding that it was pointless staying in an uncomfortably hot room. She turns her head to look to her right and is suddenly wide awake, her hands clutching at the wrinkled sheets that had been beneath Jane last night.

The emptiness of the space beside her makes her blood run cold. Maura closes her eyes and takes a deep breath; she's being illogical and jumping to conclusions. She can't stand thinking like this, wondering what on earth it was about Jane that made her thought process totally irrational. Jane was possibly just sat downstairs, in the kitchen, waiting for Maura to appear to work her coffee machine.

Maura throws back the covers, and stands up, automatically smoothing down the bed sheets and duvet. A headache is already building and she pinches the bridge of her nose. When the nightmares were particularly bad, she had researched how long a person could go without sleep; hallucinations, slurred speech occur around day four and then eventually death. She hadn't worried too much because at least she was getting some sleep, but she could have done without the headaches.

She walks to her bathroom, her feet softly padding against the carpet. Biting her lip, she notices that Jane's bag is gone, along with the guitar and clothes that had been placed neatly on the floor next to it last night. Maybe her instincts were right after all, maybe Jane really had just wanted to stay one night and let Maura get on with her own life. It made no sense, not after what they had said just before they fell asleep, not after all the help she had given Maura and certainly not after what she had told Maura about her own life.

Bypassing the door to the en suite, Maura grabs a robe from the back of the door and slips it on as she walks down the hallway, stopping at the corner and poking her head round. Her breath catches in her throat as she sees the absence of her new raven-haired friend. She can't have left without saying goodbye; Jane may have seemed to hide from her deeper emotions but this was just cowardly and downright rude.

Wiping angrily at her eyes, she walks to the kitchen, sitting down at the island where they had sat the night before. How could she leave? After last night, after helping her so much, after sharing almost everything they could share, how could Jane just _leave_ without even a goodbye? Maura doesn't even know how to contact Jane, even if Jane wanted to keep in touch. Maybe that's why she had left so early, so she could get out of Boston without anything or anyone holding her back, so she could _run_.

Maura stands again, taking two pain killers from the box in one of the cupboards, then pouring a glass of water. _Can I really blame her?_ She thinks as she sips at the water. _You woke up crying in the middle of the night because of a nightmare, you confessed yet even more of your own issues to her and she just took it. _

She closes her eyes as the internal battle rages, making her headache worse. The tablets leave a bitter taste in the back of her throat and Maura quickly drank more to rid herself of the sensation.

She jumps as someone knocks on her door, sending water down the wrong way, leaving her choking and spluttering as she puts the glass down. Ungracefully wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she walks with trepidation to the front door, still trying to catch her breath. It's then she notices the bag. Hope ignites inside her, burning bright as she spots the guitar next to it. A smile spreads on her face as she sees the lanky outline of Jane through the frosted glass of her front door.

Maura throws it open, a gust of cold wind hitting her. "Jane!" Her voice is slightly hoarse from the water incident, but nevertheless makes Jane turn towards her, her hair windswept, still in her nightclothes which were all creased, a pair of dirty blue Chuck Taylor's on her feet. But the way the early morning sun caught her profile, shadows highlighting her jawline and high cheekbones, even the curvature of her nose, the sparkle in her espresso-brown eyes, her gleaming smile as she saw Maura; the younger college student had never seen anyone more beautiful. Suddenly her breathlessness had nothing to do with the fact that Jane's knock had caused her to start choking on some water, it was that Jane's knock had caused her to open the door and reveal the Italian-American goddess that stood before her.

Jane frowns slightly, looking behind her and then back to Maura, touching her own face. "You okay?" she asks. "Somethin' on my face? Aw don't tell me I got crumbs on it. I didn't mean to eat one, I got 'em for breakfast but they looked real nice so... What?"

Maura's laugh has cut her off. She tilts her head, stepping aside. "Do you always ramble when you feel guilty or just when a girl stares at you?" This shuts Jane up, her face reddening.

"Um, both, usually," she mumbles, smiling bashfully. Jane holds out the paper bag she was carrying to Maura. "There's a bakery down the street and I just wanted to get you somethin' to eat as a thank you… it's not much but the guy said these were real good so…"

Maura takes the bag, opening it and finding freshly baked French pastries inside. She feels bad for ever assuming that Jane would run from her; she wasn't so thoughtless. "You're very kind," she says, smiling. "Thank you."

* * *

Jane grinds her foot into the step, looking down at the floor. The more she looks at Maura, the more she wants to stay here and carry on being this apparent saint-like figure that Maura sees her as. She's so far from it that the idea seems laughable. But Maura was being genuine; it's almost like she has never met someone that's as kind to her as Jane is_. It's just some food, don't get all high and mighty about it, Rizzoli._

She shrugs, her hands behind her back now they were empty. "You gave me a bed for the night. You didn't have to, you could've just said g'night and that'd have been that. Can't ever repay that, Maura." She hadn't meant to make it sound like Maura was going out of her way to help, that Jane was just a charity case.

"You don't have to repay me, Jane. Anyone would have done the same," Maura says, not at all offended as far as Jane can tell.

"Then why was I on the streets for five nights?" Jane asks, gesturing towards Maura. "You're so kind, Maura. How can ya not see that? Only you would've done it. Only you did it."

They stand in silence for a few moments, Jane wrapping her arms around herself as if it would protect her against the cold wind. "I thought you had gone." Maura's voice was so quiet, Jane almost missed it. She opens her mouth to reply, but can't bring herself to because the look on Maura's face crushes her. Maura's hazel eyes meet her own. "You were going to, weren't you? That's why you left your stuff by the door." She's not angry; her voice is just full of disappointment and sadness that tugs at Jane's heartstrings.

There's no use in lying, so Jane nods glumly. "I couldn't leave without sayin' goodbye, though. You already mean a lot to me, Maura." _More than you'll ever know. More than I'll ever let myself believe._ "It's harder to leave knowin' that you're still here… alone, with the same problem as me," she offers as some sort of reconciliation.

"Then why don't you stay?"

"I… I just can't Maura. Too many memories. I need a fresh start, like how I told ya last night," Jane says, hating that she has to have this conversation more and more every second. She doesn't want to leave Maura here alone. She wants to help more than anything but how can she possibly drag Maura into her own shit? She remembers what she thought when she was lying in Maura's bed, staring up at the dark ceiling, after she was woken by Maura crying. How could she possibly leave after this, after she had woken with Maura's head against her arm and her legs tucked up against her own. After what she had felt when she first saw Maura in that alley way last night. It isn't fair. _Life isn't fair_.

"I just thought…" Maura pauses, shaking her head, holding onto the door frame. Jane takes a step closer, willing Maura to carry on that sentence because maybe it will be exactly what Jane needs to hear to make her mind up. "Never mind," Maura finishes in a whisper, looking back up at Jane. "Before… before you go, will you at least come in from the cold and join me for breakfast?"

Jane thinks for a second, knowing the longer she stays, the harder it will be to leave. She nods, walking back into Maura's house. _But if I stay, maybe I'll find my reason to leave Boston with her_.

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**A/N: Next chapter... Giovanni... Please review/follow/favourite!**


	9. Atlas Hands

**A/N: I'm back! Sooner than the last update anyhow... Thank you so much for your reviews, follows and favourites! Over 100 follows WOW! Enjoy :)**

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Jane feels guilty as she walks past her bag and guitar that are waiting by Maura's door. She feels like she's let Maura down; given her hope and then ripped it away in an instant, leaving a painful reminder of what could have been behind. _Bring her with you, then. If it's so hard to let go, don't do it. Be honest about how hard it'll be, but just don't leave her. _

She doesn't feel welcome here anymore, not like she had done last night. Now it feels like she's looking for an excuse to stay, to make her leaving just a little less painful. It was always going to hurt, leaving, but that was before she had met Maura, when it was just her parents she was running from. Leaving is inevitable; staying here in Boston is altogether unthinkable but leaving without Maura seems impossible.

Jane stands in between the kitchen and living room, not sure what to do with herself anymore. She hates this confliction she's having. It shouldn't be so hard to leave someone that she barely knows.

"Would you like some tea?" Maura asks, filling up a copper kettle and setting it on the stove to boil. Jane nods, twisting her fingers together and leaning from left to right, then deciding to sit down before Maura notices. She couldn't make this more awkward even if she tried.

"Do you take sugar?"

"Just one, thanks," Jane replies more glumly than she expected to sound. She thinks back to when she was stood outside with Maura, wanting her to finish her sentence. She wonders how she would have reacted if Maura had said something about her leaving. She supposes now she'll never get the chance because the sense of the inevitable hangs over them like bitter acceptance that they're going to go their separate ways.

Jane watches as Maura makes the tea. Even such a simple task is performed with such _elegance_, such dexterity. Maybe she should say something, offer to help, but her voice is temporarily lost as she watches, _marvels _at Maura.

Maura turns her head to look at Jane as though she can feel her staring, boring holes into her. They smile, but it doesn't reach their eyes. It breaks some sort of tension and everything feels comfortable. Jane slouches slightly in her chair, resting her elbows on the kitchen island as Maura places a mug of steaming tea in front of her. Just for something to hold on to, Jane wraps her cold hands around it, ignoring the slight burning sensation that makes her palms tingle. The tea scalds her tongue as she sips it, her eyes watering.

"Careful, it's hot," Maura remarks, smirking slightly as she sits down opposite Jane.

"Well done, Sherlock," Jane jokes, putting her mug back down. Maura looks puzzled for a second at the comparison to the British detective, until Jane explains. "It's just a phrase, Maura," she says gently and not mockingly.

"I don't understand."

"No… I don't really get it either," Jane says honestly, cracking a smile.

They fall into silence again, Jane suddenly finding the steam rising from her mug of tea very interesting. "So, where are you going to go?" Maura asks quietly, as though she's afraid of the answer. She has the right to know where Jane will be.

_At least give her this answer truthfully. _Jane reaches and pulls a folded map out of her back pocket, setting her tea aside as she carefully unfolds it, like it's a map to the location of the Holy Grail. Maura automatically moves out the way so Jane can lay the map flat on the island top, smoothing it out. It's a map of America, a line drawn across it in red marker pen, an arrow going from East Coast to West.

A smile spreads over Jane's face as she traces the line with her eyes, the familiar excited sensation rising up inside her. She had pinned the wall map up on her old bedroom wall, staring at it every day for the past however many months, dreaming of travelling across the country by herself. She had mapped the route in her head, and then when it became clear that running away was the only option to her, she had traced her route, passing through all the places she had longed to visit. It was going to be an adventure, one that she almost couldn't wait to begin; yes, she was scared but this was her shot at a new life, a new start away from everyone she already knew. _Including Maura. _Her smile falters a little as she stares at the map, then looks back up at Maura who is watching with avid interest. She clears her throat.

"So we're here, in Boston," she says, pointing to the city on the East Coast. "And well… this is my journey." Jane traces her finger over the red line that passes through more states than she's ever visited in her life, and more towns that she could ever hope to go to. It wasn't how she would have chosen to visit these places. Her finger stops on the West Coast. "All the way to San Francisco."

Maura plays with the corner of the maps, then tracing the coast of California with one finger until it comes to rest just next to Jane's. Silent Maura seems more unnerving than a Maura who voices her true feelings. Jane can tell she wishes she hadn't asked. Now she knows where Jane is running to and will be after coming as quickly as she has arrived in Maura's life. There's nothing Jane can say to soften the blow to Maura. She can only block out the nausea that's rising gradually because she doesn't even know this young woman, and it's just by chance that she's even here in the first place.

"You're going to just leave your family and go there, with no idea of what you're actually going to do once you arrive?" Maura's voice is soft, quiet, with a hint of… resentment? Jealousy? Jane couldn't tell but it sent a shiver down her spine and created a small lump in her throat.

"Course I have an idea," Jane says as quiet as Maura. _But is your idea enough?_ "I'll… get a job, use some savings to buy a small place, then just… live. Be happy knowin' that I'll be better off there, than all the way over here." That's what Jane truly believes, and that is what she's holding on to.

"Haven't you even considered giving it a chance here? For all you know, it could work out just fine!"

Jane just shakes her head. Deep down she truly believes that life over there cannot be any worse than the life she would endure with her parent's judgement.

"Maura, the longer I wait, the harder it'll be to leave. If I wait, and nothin' gets better, I'll have wasted time where I coulda been happy stuck _here_, wishin' I was over _there."_

"What about your parents?"

"What about them?" Jane sits up straighter in her seat, gathering the map and folding it back up, waiting for Maura's answer. She feels angry at the need to explain herself to Maura, to the one person who seemed to understand everything she said last night about leaving. Maura doesn't have the right to talk about her parents like she knows them because she has no idea of the things they have said to Jane. _Or maybe she does. _Jane thinks back to the argument last night with Mrs Isles. Maybe Maura does have every right to consider Jane's parents in all of this when her own mother has similar feelings towards her own daughters sexuality.

But knowing this, Maura cannot possibly support Jane's parents. "Despite what they've said, don't you think they deserve maybe a chance? Do you still love them?" Jane has no idea what Maura is getting at here. Why is she making it so damn hard for her to leave? She keeps sending Jane on spiralling guilt trips but she feels like she owes it to Maura to answer her questions, to prove herself right in her motives. It's the only thing that's keeping her anger in check. She stands up, digging her nails into the palms of her hands.

"Of course I still love them," Jane whispers, eyes at the floor, trying to get rid of the emotion clogging her throat. "That's why it's so damn hard to leave. I'm givin' up everything I have to be happy and I don't even know if it's gonna work! I've lost my family to this _shit_ that I've got goin' on in my head and I don't even know if it'll be worth it!" Maura visibly flinches at the curse. She hadn't meant to shout, but her voice was rising the more emotional she got. She doesn't want to get angry with Maura but it frustrates her that Maura just doesn't seem to understand. "I never wanted this choice, but I'm havin' to make it anyway. I'm _tired _of puttin' them before me. Why do you want me to stay? Can you just understand that I wanna be happy?"

Maura doesn't answer. Neither of them speak after Jane's outburst, not for a few minutes. "I've know you for less than a day, Maura. I don't wanna be silently judged by someone who I thought would never do that so just tell me straight. Do you think I'm stupid for doing this?"

"Of course not," Maura says indignantly. "I think you're actually very brave."

Jane scoffs, folding her arms. "You're just sayin' that…"

"I can't lie Jane." Jane gives a short laugh, shaking her head. "No, really, I can't. I break out into hives and have been known to go vasovagal."

"Vaso-what?"

"I faint."

"You're kidding?" Jane gives a small laugh, shaking her head. Even after playing devil's advocate, Maura comes out with the one thing that Jane knows she isn't but that everyone seems to believe. Frost, Frankie and Tommy have all called her brave at some point, but if she was so brave, she wouldn't be running so far away. She was just protective of her feelings, and the feelings of those close to her. And even just after one day, Maura thinks this too. "You amaze me, Maura Isles." Maura grins at this, a small blush creeping over her pale-skinned face.

Jane goes and sits down heavily on the couch, looking down at her hands, picking at her nails. Now more than ever she feels guilty about leaving. Maura sits down next to her, her posture perfect, staring resolutely ahead. "You're really going to leave aren't you?"

"Yeah"

"And nothing I say will ever make you change your mind?"

"Nothing," Jane confirms, shaking her head. She can't give up, it's unfathomable. The silence drags on. It would be braver to try and start again not knowing what would happen than stay here in Boston and go back to her parents. Maybe it's time for her to leave; Maura clearly can't persuade her to stay, so what's the point in pretending that she will? It would only hurt Maura more. Her legs didn't seem to want to move, not matter what her brain was telling her.

"Take me with you."

Jane inhales sharply, her nails digging in deeper to her palms. This is what she had wanted. But also, this is what she had been afraid of ever since she saw Maura look at the map and try to show her reasons to stay. Tears gather in her eyes and she blinks them away so Maura doesn't see the effects of her words.

_Take me with you. _

Jane would love to take Maura with her, after all, isn't that what she has been trying to convince herself to do by staying just a little longer? But now Maura has said it, has _asked_ to go with Jane, it all seems too real and she feels like she has offered Maura an ultimatum. _Come with me or I'll go and you'll never see me again._ From what Maura has said, for some reason, despite all the trouble Jane has been in these two days, she wants Jane to stay. Or rather, she wants to stay _with _Jane. And because she can't keep Jane in the city, she is going to have to go with Jane across the county. It's unfair, it's a guilt trip Jane has set her on. She doesn't know why, but she cannot put Maura in danger or worse have her realise what a mistake it was to go with Jane. She won't give herself the chance to unintentionally hurt Maura. _I won't relive what happened with Kate._ Maura can't want to go, she can't want to leave all of this behind just to go with Jane who has no clue what she's going to do when she gets to San Francisco.

_I wanted you to go with me because I was selfish, because we have something and I don't want to leave that behind. I was selfish and I let you believe that this is the right decision, when you could do so much better. You don't need me, you're not obliged to do this. _

"You can't mean that, Maura. You… you have it all here for you, what could you possibly gain by running away with me?" She doesn't dare meet Maura's eyes.

"A friend. A new start. Everything you want, Jane, I want too. I'm not as brave as you, I'm not as decisive but I know that I want something to hope for because there is no reason for me to stay here, there are just bad memories. My mother, father and Garret all live here and now you're here and you've given me a chance to escape, so please, please take me with you Jane. I wouldn't ask if I didn't mean it."

She has to make sure Maura means this. She has to be convinced that this isn't just some rash choice based on one night, but a thought through solution. "But it's all here for you! If you run, you're gonna… lose all of this! Your nice house, you're at _college _Maura, I can't just take all that from you!"

"_You _wouldn't have to do anything, this is my choice. I can start again over there!" Maura's clearly determined and rather than feeling annoyed that Maura is fighting tooth and nail to get her way, Jane feels pride rise up inside her. She's proud that Maura is fighting her for this. And she's going to fight back.

"It's not that easy Maura! Whatever idea you've got in your head about this, it's not right. It's not a road trip, its running _away _to start a new life. If I took you with me, there's no guarantee this will work! We can't turn around and come back. We've gotta find places to live, jobs, college, it's not that easy and _I _don't even know how I'm gonna do this! Don't let me fail you by taking you with me, Maura, please." That's what she's most afraid of. Failing Maura's expectations.

"You'll fail me if you _don't_ take me. I'm not stupid; I know it's going to be hard! If you think I'm naïve and… ignorant then you clearly don't know me as well as you think you've grown to in this short space of time!"

"Exactly Maura! I _don't_ know you, I have no clue what you want to do or why you wanna give all this up just to follow _me _across the country when I got no idea what I'm doin'!"

"Because I can't possibly stay another second in this city. _Just like you, Jane. _I know that eventually I'll have to give in because I'm not as brave as you to go running across the country! So I want you to give me this chance to take the initiative and leave here."

"Maura that's… a nice philosophy but you've gotta think this through. Please, don't make a rash decision," Jane pleads. She doesn't understand how Maura could want to leave. She doesn't understand why she's trying to convince Maura to _not _go with her when that's the entire reason she followed Maura back inside. She wants Maura to make this choice completely by herself. And she's almost sure that Maura wants this for herself and not because she doesn't want to leave Jane.

Maura folds her arms across her chest defensively. "Why is this idea of me coming with you so awful?"

"I never… I never said it was awful. I just…" Jane pauses. She never thought it was an awful idea, is what she wants to say but she stumbles over her words trying to reason why she's being difficult. But she doesn't have a chance to say this out loud because Maura turns on her heel and walks to her room. Jane jumps as she slams the door and swears she hears a small sob echo down the corridor.

Jane stands there, shocked. She had half expected Maura to get angry, to get more defensive or demand an answer but she hadn't expected Maura to run off _crying_. Jane curses herself and her short nails dig into the palms of her hands as she curls her fists. She's being unfair; but realistic. She could never expect Maura to do this, but if what Maura said was true and she _did_ want this as much as she said… Then Jane had been selfish. She had pushed too far, as always.

Her legs carry her to Maura's bedroom door. She presses her ear up against it and her heart sinks when she hears quiet sobbing behind it. She had never wanted to upset Maura, but this is all the confirmation that Jane needs that Maura wants to leave. And leave with her. It doesn't matter about the logistics, not yet. Jane knocks and doesn't wait for an answer because she's _fucked up _and she wants to explain why she's so worried and why she said what she did.

She stands in the doorway, staring at Maura who is seated on the bed, her hand covering her mouth as she cries. "Maura…" Jane feels like crying herself. _You see? I'll just hurt you. I can't give you everything you want. Just like Kate. _That phrase seems to repeat itself a lot in her head when she was around Maura. She kneels in front of her and tentatively takes Maura's hands in her own.

Maura looks up at her and sniffs. For some reason, seeing Maura cry is very disconcerting. "W-Why don't you believe me?"

Cracks form in Jane's heart. She looks down at the floor. "I do, Maura, I really do. I just don't want you to get hurt because I care about you, a lot. You helped me and we understand each other and we don't judge. I can't guarantee anything if you come with me. Here you're stable."

"But not as happy as I could be. It's worth a _try_, surely?" Maura grips Jane's hands harder in her own, subconsciously rubbing small circles with her thumbs. "I'm just going to exist here. I won't _live. _I can get an internship over there, I can find _someone, _I can live without the pressure of my parents bearing down on me. I'm just the same as you, Jane. I _want _the risk. What's the worst that could happen?"

"You could regret ever meeting me?"

Maura gives a small, watery chuckle. "And why would I do that?"

Jane grins, meeting Maura's shimmering hazel eyes. She's truly beautiful. No one's beauty has taken her aback so much, not since when she first laid eyes on Kate. And yet even three years later, she still feels like it's wrong to feel like this about someone else. Pure, raw emotional connection.

"I want you to come with me Maura." She's made her choice. "I was only making sure you wanted this as bad as I do, that you're sure. And I know that you are, I trust you. Not because you can't lie but because I pushed you and you still wanna come with me. But you understand what you're getting into, right? I can't promise you anything apart from that I'll do everything to get you there safely and make sure you're happy. We can't tell anyone we're going. They'll come looking and… and try and take us home. They'll try to take _you _home. You've gotta be in this one hundred percent. And if you are, I promise to stick with you. 'Till the end of the line."

Maura squeezes her hands. "Until the end of the line."

Jane exhales. She's really doing this, she's really going to take Maura across the country. Give her a fresh start. It's exciting. But it's _terrifying. _Anything could go wrong. They're too young to be making this choice. _She's too young. _

It's too late to back out now. But Jane Rizzoli never breaks a promise.

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**A/N: So there we are! They're off together on this adventure! Everything does get more lighthearted after this chapter, but I feel its important to truly establish the characters before all of that. Jane is scared and vulnerable which is why she's acting how she does around Maura. She doesn't understand why she feels this pull towards her. She will never hurt Maura, and I promise that she means well even if on the face of it she seems a little cold-hearted. These two have been through huge events that have changed them into the characters I'm writing, and I'll explore these events later in the story. Also, I think some readers may feel off-putted by Kate. Jane and Maura won't fall in love straight away. She is a very important part of this story, and Jane does still love her and is a huge part of Jane's life before Maura. BUT Rizzles is endgame, I promise you that. ** **Just thought that I should say this before continuing!**

**Giovanni next chapter, I swear! Please review, follow, favourite, it really means a lot! ~ P**


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